igotrabiesatthezoo

Fugazi Live Series on Dischord.com - Interview with Ian Mackaye

2012-02-10T20:14:00.000-08:00

By Jacob Calle

Photos By Amy Farina

Ian MacKaye is most widely known as the singer for Fugazi, Minor Threat, and a handful of other influential hardcore punk bands. Without a doubt he is a central figure in creating the notion of a ‘do it your self’ punk ethic and is credited with coining the term “straight-edge.” As well as fronting such bands, MacKaye has produced and released works by countless other artists and has dabbled in activism. Since their ‘indefinite hiatus’ in 2002, Fugazi has been dormant and rumors of reuniting, shows, or new records have abounded. But the latest rumor has become fact in the form of the Fugazi Live Series; an archive of over 800 shows which will be progressively released online for a ‘small fee’. We had the opportunity to pick Mr. MacKaye’s brain about these recordings and a few other things.

You’ve kept these recordings in your closet for years. Why release them now?

The medium didn’t exist before the Internet, so there was no viable way to make the music accessible to anybody. We did actually release about 30 of them on CD, but it was pointless. It would be impossible to think that you could do that with all of them. The problem with CDs is if you pressed 50 copies but no one wanted to buy them, then they become trash. That’s what I call a CD or a record. If you don’t listen to it is just a piece of trash. In this case, there are some shows that no one has downloaded at all, but it’s not taking up any more space. The idea was, ‘why have all these recordings?’ I’ve heard maybe 10 of them. I just work on the site. I’d like to listen to some of them eventually, but I don’t have time for it now. We have these tapes so let’s share them. We don’t edit anything or fix anything. It is what it is. It’s a way of sharing what exists. There are people around the world with mass recordings and none of us will ever hear. It just seems absurd to me. So why not make it available?

Are there any particular shows that you favor the most that you would suggest to Fugazi fans to download?

They’re all my children. People ask me all the time, “What’s your favorite show?”

I haven’t heard them all.

Well, you may not have heard them all, but you lived them.

There are some that are dramatic. A show in Peoria, IL with a really huge confrontation with some skinhead kids. They are playing a role with the recording. I find that more interesting than a really well recorded show. I’d rather hear something with a little more drama or something happening. I know that historically there is a show that Fugazi, the 4 of us, thought was a great show, I think in ‘92 in Berlin. We played in a giant circus tent. There’s another show we put up that was recorded in Copenhagen in ’92, I don’t remember. This guy came on stage and sang surf tunes with us. I love that recording. I don’t think a single person has downloaded that yet. [Laughs] I would hope that people would be compelled by the city, the state, the venue, or the era. I thought that is what would drive them to download something. Unfortunately, most people are going by sound quality rating. We put it on there [rating scale] as a guide, but it was not the intention, because they’re all good.

Say a fan wants to download an amazing show. Will there be a rating system by fans to give “stars” or comments for each particular show?

There’s the one guy, a German fellow who bought the All Access pass. He’s been going through every show chronologically posting comments about it. He’s pretty dedicated. I actually can’t believe that he’s doing this. He’s been going through posting notes about every show. His reviews are pretty good.

Your other band The Evens just recently put out a 7” this past November. Will there be a full length to follow?

Yeah, we’re working on it now. We haven’t gone in the studio yet, but we’re writing. Things seem to be going pretty slow on that front, but it’s just the way it is. We practiced this morning. We practice about 3 to 4 times a week if we can in the mornings. We are hoping in the next month or so to start really to getting to work on a full length.

As for Occupy Musicians, could you explain the significance of the Occupy Movement on our culture and how it could be more effective?

I think my conclusion on that list is more a sign of support. I’m not a part of any organization. There is no newsletter. There is no communication. I think that protests are an eternal exercise, which seems to be an unchangeable structure in our society. I think that the Occupy Movement has at least brought up questions about whether if this is a sustainable society. In which, I would say it’s not. The unsustainability factor largely has to do with the imbalance and greed that exists in the way our economic system works.

As you know the Occupy Movement doesn’t have an agenda. It’s rather of a loud reminder that there is a problem. Having the problem highlighted has compelled people to either work directly on trying to address this problem or at least be more mindful about creating bigger problems. I’m very interested to see what’s going to happen in the upcoming year. Now that there is no one in the park in New York and they are actually talking about clearing out the [Occupy] people here in Washington, that it has sorta ran it’s course, I’m very interested to see what comes next.

Would you mind if I ask you what’s your stance on this election for 2012?

My rule of thumb in terms of voting for presidential elections always boils down to one thing. Who ever becomes the president of this country is what the people of this country deserve, because it was either they voted for that person or they allowed that election to be rigged, or they didn’t put enough of a fight about it. However, the rest of the world does not deserve whoever our president is. It shouldn’t be their problem at all. It’s our problem. Our country has an enormous impression on the rest of the world. In my opinion at least, the most visceral effect on the rest of the world is war, essentially murder. This country has excelled in murdering people in other places, certainly in the last 10 years. So my rule of thumb in terms for voting is voting for the person who is electable and is least likely to engage in war. And that is it. It’s a very simple equation. So historically, I’ve always voted for Democrats. I’m deeply disappointed in Obama’s persistence in waging war. I don’t believe in murder. I think that when we are dropping bombs and shooting people with guns that is murder. I assume running into Obama will be Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney. That’ll be a tough one. So yeah, that’s how I vote.

So with you being disappointed in Obama, do you feel at all there could be a glimmer of hope or do you feel that he’s reached his final disenchantment?

I think that Obama will probably be reelected. And I’m hopeful that if he is reelected that he will stop engaging in war. That’s my hope. He’s probably a reasonable human being, but the politics in this country are just so fucked. And if you’re in that kind of position, the President of the United States, you end up having to sleep with horrible people and horrible ideas. I would like to think that should he return to the White House that his reelection should no longer be an issue unless he can actually make a real “change” in terms of what this country should be doing. I don’t think a country should be blowing up other people, period.

I completely agree with you Ian, and for the last question. Free Press Summer Fest, which our independent newspaper produces with Pegstar.net, is the nation’s cheapest large-scale music festival. Seriously now, if we offered Fugazi $XXX,XXX and $XX,XXX to a charity of your choice would you come perform Free Press Summer Fest?

We’re not playing right now. There’s no money issue or is it the desire to play music. We are dear friends. We love each other. We love playing music with each other. However, the circumstances in our lives make it impossible for us to operate in a way that we feel is necessary for Fugazi to operate. We may play again or we may not, but money will never be the factor that decides that. We’ve been offered extremely lucrative deals. Many people have pushed us many times about charitables and think it’s such a good cause. No doubt, but it’s not going to happen until it happens. There is nothing that is going to compel us to doing other than the 4 of us finding circumstances that will make it possible to do it in a way that feels right. It’s never a question of desire or that we don’t want to play music. It’s not a question of that we’re waiting for the right number. We all saw each other over the fall. Joe [Lally, bassist] lives out of the country so we don’t get to see him that much. We spend some days together. It was great to have that time and I think that working on this live series is really great in terms of working on it collectively even though we’re not in the same place. First of all we’re not retired, but I think that we know when it’s time, we will know. But if there isn’t a time and we don’t then it’s all right. Not a problem.

STEVE AOKI!

2012-02-03T10:01:00.000-08:00

For the story and photos on STEVE AOKI at Verizon Wireless CLICK HERE. Party was dope. For you Texas, get ready for Dim Mak's party at SXSW! It's going to be wild. And for those who don't know...Steve Aoki is owner of Dim Mak. The photos I have posted of DJ Mom Jeans AKA Hyde from That 70's Show and Steve riding a mechanical bull are from previous Dim Mak parties at SXSW. So heads up for details!

www.dimmakrecs.com

@steveaoki

and if ya wanna follow me for rad SXSW shit:

@jacobcalle

The Truth on Magic Cyclops

2012-01-31T13:47:00.000-08:00

There is always going to be someone riding one someone else's wave of success. In this case, I'm talking about air guitarist, Magic Cyclops. As you all may know he was featured on American Idol and stirred a big commotion in the media. He was on NPR, Huffington Post, FOX, and many radio stations including one desperate radio station from Davenport, Iowa called B100.

For those out of the loop, here is Magic Cyclop's bit on American Idol.

The following morning on B100's Facebook fan page it read, "America's been punked...by us".

Once called out in desperate measures the radio station deleted all comments about the claim and now they are denying it. There had been articles about this shpill about their claim, CLICK HERE! As you see on the top of the article the original writer to this piece had to put a disclaimer about B100's crookedness. Let that be a lesson. Fact check your material before writing about it. I called B100 to get a word from them. After all, they devised this plan to get Scott Fuller as a character to get on American Idol. So I wanted to see how incorporated their selves into this situation. FACT CHECK: I've known Cyclops for a few years and it's his air guitar alias. We met in 2009 in NYC. When he introduced himself as Magic Cyclops while sporting a Magic Cyclops tshirt I knew that he was the real deal. So B100 claimed to have known him for the past 5 years right? This is what they had to say to me.

The Morning Show:

I believe he (Cyclops) plays 11 different air guitars?

Jacob:

No, I believe he plays 11 THOUSAND air guitars.

The Morning Show:

See, so much I know about him.

When asked why did your radio station highjack Cyclop's fame one of the guys replied, "I would agree that he is a flash-in-the-pan. His 15 minutes are about up."

They are now claiming that they have nothing to do with his doing on the show, but yet they still posted that they "punked" America. Pretty damn lame right?

When I spoke with Cyclops he says that they never once asked him to give them a shout out nor has he ever met them. "I don't usually befriend men with frosted tip goatee's and bedazzled jeans", says Cyclops. Which is most likely true coming from a dude who's favorite band is Descendants.

"That was our buddy and goofing around, but he's good at staying in character,"says Scott of B100. , but yet when I corrected him through our phone call about how many air guitars he owns he replied, "See, so much I know about him."

So yeh, there it is. Pretty darn lame. Blah!

2012: SXSW- A few bands that I'm stoked about seeing.

2012-01-23T10:46:00.000-08:00

TRAVELER'S GUIDE TO SXSW FOR FIRST TIMERS

I'll be posting more bands to check out as more rad ones are posted.

BRAID

GARDENS AND VILLA

ANDREW WK

HOT WATER MUSIC

MAGNETIC FIELDS

THE DRUMS

ANYA MARINA

THIRD EYE BLIND

THE VELVET TEEN

WE ARE AUGUSTINES

Welcome back boys!

2012-01-22T19:13:00.000-08:00

AT THE DRIVE IN ARE BACK! YES!!!!!!!!!

VISIT THEIR OFFICIAL WEBSITE HERE!

@ATTHEDRIVEIN

MOONRISE KINGDOM

2012-01-22T18:35:00.000-08:00

If there is a writer who does not fail it's Houston's own Wes Anderson. His array of unconventional characters has always found a place in my heart. Can't wait!

2012-01-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

I paint. Sometimes I get asked how I paint. I reply with a nod and say, "I have no idea?". That may sound pretentious, but it's the truth. I finish a painting, look at it, and think, "How'd the hell did it turn out like this?" So I have filmed it step by step with my iphone on how I make my crap. I also edited with an iphone app called Reel Director. Enjoy!

The owl is now hanging up at Zen Art in the Galleria on display.

Jacob Calle's Sparks Challenge VS Red Bull's No Limit

2012-01-02T18:10:00.000-08:00

What's more extreme than jumping a motorcycle in the air? Jumping through fire and disappearing in mid air through the fire!!!!!!!!! But hey, were not all Criss Angel, but we try to be. Even if it's the last thing we do! No but seriously. I am a big fan of Red Bull's No Limit. I tune in every year, but this year I set them up for a duel!
Here was a PSA I made to get kids over to the party to watch my challenge!

And last! People began to show up waiting for my spectacular stunt show! I let the Red Bull No Limit show go on first on ESPN so that I could be the main head liner! (Good thinkin' huh?!) I put on my Toxic Avenger mask and four LUCKY dudes got to blow me! Happy new years everyone!

The average lifespan of a human is 75-80 while a Galapagos tortoise can live up to 200 years old! Our time on this Earth is very short. You may think that the greatest invention is sliced bread, but it's not. You are the greatest invention ever and you've got a brain with a blood pumping heart. Your circuits are living so tomorrow morning when it's 2012 I want you to forget what everyone is saying about you and you live your life to the damn fullest! It doesn't matter if the cup is half empty or half full. You take what ever is left in that cup, chug it, and say, "PARTY HARD!" YOUR FRIEND! JACOB CALLE

Go watch my crap on break.com

2011-12-25T23:38:00.000-08:00

CLICK HERE!

Go watch it and spread the views. I recently posted a bunch of videos on there.

Thanks!

THIS SUMMER!!!!

2011-12-25T13:30:00.000-08:00

Can't wait!!!!!

Where the hell are you Bill Cosby?!

2011-12-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

This girl wins on the darnest things.

A prank I pulled on Black Friday

2011-12-14T05:47:00.001-08:00

Really guys? You wait for days to get that good deal on a television or what not. Quite ridiculous. Very intense people, clutching their electronics coupons, ready to fight to the finish.

It was a damn circus. Consumerism is a horrible drug. Black Friday, an American culture Disney Land Freak show. How about we don't consume shit and just eat our damn left overs?

Interview with 3oh3

2011-12-14T05:44:00.000-08:00

Almost Hereos

2011-12-11T18:59:00.001-08:00

Basquiat had an art show at the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston. I decided to turn this event into a hilarious shenanigan. I replicated one of his paintings and had the wood and canvas rolled up in my pants and jacket. I walked like I had a wooden leg. I peg legged my way to the restroom and starting stretching the canvas. Like Basquiat I had twine and BOOM FOR REAL! It was done. I stretched over a pair of panty house over my head and grabbed my painting. I bolted out the door and the chaos was already in the works. "THIEF!!!!!!" I ran as people booed at me. Cops came rushing in and safely as they could "tackled" me. I tried to hand the painting over but they would not hold it. Did they actually think someone would try to steal a multi million dollar painting with panty hose over their head in front of 2,000 people? Way to be conspicuous! After 15 minutes of arguing that the painting is fake and that this particular event didn't even have this painting I was kicked out. I was almost facing art fraud charges until I showed the fine arts curator and the police what I had written in tiny letters on the painting "HA HA HA Jokes on You. xo- Jacob".

My interview with Jeff Corwin.

2011-12-11T18:49:00.001-08:00

Animals mean more than anything to me and meeting Jeff Corwin was a damn honor.
Animal conservation is everything to me. I just hope that my message is being heard and
practiced. There's more than just recycling. There's more than just reusing your plastic bags from the grocery store. Go vegetarian! Hell! Go vegan. Don't buy fast food. Don't support the meat factories who raise their cattle in the rain forest of Brazil! Don't consume olive oil which comes from where orangutans live because that is what THEY eat. Not you! Don't use a straw at a restaurant! Ride your fucking bike when necessary! Save the planet. It's all I ask. BTW, just kill yourself. =)

"I walk like myself"-an Egyptian

2011-12-11T18:34:00.000-08:00

While I am not working at the vet clinic I am working at the Museum of Fine Arts. I assist in the King Tut exhibition. The other day I was cleaning the cases and I made King Tut's jewelry shake! I watched the gold sway back and forth and I then realized that this gold is 3,000 years old. It was left for this king for the afterlife. It was to be untouched and now here is this guy shaking his fucking jewelry that has a homemade sarcophagus of Tut in Houston, TX! Yeh, last year I got my paper machete King Tut and snuck it in the H-E-B Thanksgiving Parade. We made it two feet and got caught. BUT HURRICANE BEAR DIDN'T! He waltzed right up in there and danced his lil ass off. The year before Hurricane Bear crashed the Thanksgiving parade and lead the Santa Clause wagon. It was dope. So yeh, November 4th, 1922 Carter's water boy found Tut. It's a shame that he's not getting the cred-HEY WATER BOY GIMME SOME WATER! Any ideas what to do with this paper machete Tut? It's cluttering my art studio. Did I say studio? What I meant to say was, It's in my garage.

New painting (In the works)

2011-12-11T18:31:00.000-08:00

This is a small portion of it. It's actually 8 foot long and four foot high. I've been painting all day. It felt good. Now if I can figure out how to sneak this into a fine arts silent auction so that I can sell it for 23 million because those rich assholes can't tell the difference between shit from shinola.

Baby Clothes that my kid would wear

2011-12-11T18:19:00.000-08:00

When I have a baby it will where rubber neckin' clothes like this. Especially if it were GIRL CLOTHES , all frilly, fancy, and in-your-face.
Yeh, I just called my future baby an "it". I'm already a nominee for father of the year. So other slogans a babies onesie may have? Is that how you even spell onesie?

-I got to second base on my mom last night.
-The Family Pet
-Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Turd, and Twat

Things I paint.

2011-12-11T18:16:00.000-08:00

Yeh, I paint. It's fun. (Click on Image to enlarge.)

It's a cartoon world.

2011-12-11T18:10:00.000-08:00

So I've got this problem. There's this little mouse named Jerry that scrambles through the house and eats through the boxes of the foods in my pantry. Cereal is everywhere and you'd think mice are "quiet as a mouse". NOPE! Not this guy. He's loud as shit! Can't go to sleep. He blasts the television up watching MTV's Jersey Shore and then plays my damn foosball table! I don't even know if he's even playing anyone either! He just slams the ball around!

Our summer vacation to Burning Man.

2011-12-11T17:53:00.000-08:00

I stepped out of the car and walked towards the entrance. I grabbed the mallet and smashed the giant gong and screamed, "I AM NO LONGER A VIRGIN!". This was my first time to Burning Man. It was the summer of 2011, Rites of Passage. I was a skeptic for at least two days until I accepted the large week long event. I hope that someday I can return to Burning Man again for the first time, because I am still a virgin.

PS. Don't ever call Burning Man a festival in front of Chels. She'll beam you with her lazer eyes.
Burning Man is a celebration of life. A journey for the mind and soul. I get it now and I wanna do it again...fucking hippie.

Nordic Thunder's air guitar uniform sabataged by Golden Ghost

2011-07-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

The kind hearted viking that Nordic Thunder is let Golden Ghost from Houston, TX sleep in his home and while Nordic was at work Ghost himself grabs a pair of scissors and destroys the viking's uniform in hopes that he will perform in his regular every day clothes in competition. "Ever see that movie "Taken" where the bad dude tells the good dude "Good luck." over the phone?" Yeah, this is the scene. Good luck Nordic." says, Golden Ghost.

Tonight is the Dark Horse performance. What will Nordic wear for this event at The Parlour?!?!?! I don't know, we will see. "Golden Ghost isn't going to get away with this. He's not really a ghost, but a clown in a painted marching band outfit that thinks he's invisible." says, Chuck Mung.

Here is a video of the gastly Golden Ghost mocking Nordic's taste of fashion in his lovely home. Expect drama tonight from these two. "He's been eating Ramen Noodles all day. Golden Ghost doesn't have much meat to his bones. Nordic is going to exorcize his demon ghost ass and slap a Bible in his face...Good luck."

The Drums' new single "MONEY" Hear it here!

2011-07-17T17:44:00.001-07:00

Why this band is better than your band. (Click on link to hear the new single)

They just can not make bad music! Music of today is just horrible. This band comes out of nowhere (Love you Elkland) and BOOM! Massive love attack on the ears. Can't wait for the full length "PORTAMENTO" which will be on September 12th with 12 songs. The new single "Money" is exactly what you expect from this band, an upbeat tempo with snappy bass lines which came from the lost reels from The Smiths. This band is not here to be forgotten. They are here to stay.

'Book Of Revelation'
'Days'
'What You Were'
'Money'
'Hard To Love'
'I Don’t Know How To Love'
'Searching For Heaven'
'Please Don’t Leave'
'If He Likes It Let Him Do It'
'I Need A Doctor'
'In The Cold'
'How It Ended'

Best of: Ryan Dunn.

2011-06-21T06:54:00.000-07:00

He's always been favored over the group because of his carelessness. While Knoxville and Steve O did the stunts for the fame, Dunn did because he just did not flat out care about the repercussion.

He was a good dude and it's such a terrible loss for MTV and the rest of the world. It was awesome partying with you. RIP Peace bro. Sooner or later you'll have all your idiot friends with you.

Dunn and I performing in a seedy underground bar with no lights (Notice my bro with a flashlight)

The Hamburger Thief strikes again!

2011-06-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, The Hamburger Thief exists! Watch out! To watch this video go to TRAGIC MAGIC!

TRAGICMAGICVIDEOS.COM

2011-06-12T09:21:00.001-07:00

I've got a new site. Imagine Funny or Die or College Humor. Now imagine those sites all done by 4 dudes. Check out our site.

www.tragicmagicvideos.com

A Nasty Jam

2011-06-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

A Nasty Jam:

Check out my boy Travis Postany on VH1's "X LIFE".

Arcade Fire in organized chaos in The Woodlands

2011-05-05T19:22:00.000-07:00

I couldn't imagine being any where else other than seeing Arcade Fire perform at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion last night on May the fourth, which fell on national Star Wars day. Have never watched Star Wars, I was perfectly okay with knowing that May the fourth was a day that Arcade Fire played their latest album in a town that inspired the record.

As I sat in my seat along next to the Houston Press "Rocks Off" gang a young professional type guy nudged me, "This band is from The Woodlands!". Well...kinda... Each song had the amount of energy that one would think it was their encore set. In-between songs lead singer, Win Butler would make statements about living in The Woodlands including his opening mark, "It's good to be back home." as well as how he was hassled by Woodlands police when he lived here. Win made a shout out to his old friends and family that attended his performance, a group of old folk in front of us raised their hands in joyous glee. Had I made any connection with the man's lips, he probably said "That's my boy." Not too sure if it really was his family, but they seemed pretty ecstatic about his statement. They seemed like the type that would have went to see Bob Seger, who played a few nights before, not an Arcade Fire concert.

The band pelted through their set without giving any of the audience pity of their broken feet. We danced till the last beat of the drum. The grassy lawn was closed for this night as the whole concert took place underneath the canopy giving everyone a more intimate experience with Arcade Fire. Butler confessed that he once worked at Cynthia Woods and was quite lazy with the ticket checking. He would let people pass through without ticket inspection. Later in the set just before "Power Out" he mentioned it again giving a "hint hint" for everyone to come up front. A large rush of Arcade fans from the back ran to the front to dance in this religious experience. There could have easily been rattlesnakes on stage as Arcade Fire prayed to the Gods of the suburbs and rockn' roll.

It was a very magical moment for those who went. This was a show that will never have the same affect anywhere else in the US. The closest would be their home town show in Canada, but this is the United States and we own that. The show ended with Regine’s magical “Sprawl II”. There is a spark about that girl that does not dwell in others. She is from another country that you have never heard before, because it does not exist. She is not a human nor animal. She is Regine. A delicate spirit with copious amounts of energy. She put the audience back into reality as she danced with ribbons on stage with a smile across her face. The show was over, but the memories that we have are there to last forever. This being my 5th time to see this band. I was just as excited from the first time I saw them. By far the great live performance in a rock band that I have ever seen.

US AIR GUITAR IS BACK FOR 2011

2011-05-05T19:12:00.000-07:00

WWW.USAIRGUITAR.COM

My interview with Yoko Ono

2011-04-27T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yoko Ono. What else is there to say? A woman who needs no introduction. A woman who was in love with the most significant musician in the world. When the press was released that Yoko Ono would be performing in Austin, TX with her Plastic Ono Band for SXSW I immediately jumped at this opportunity to see something that billions would not. Not only did Ono perform, but she also was a keynote speaker for Austin's music/film festival that generated more than one million people to town. Ms. Ono has had numerous consecutive dance singles ranking at #1 on the top of the Billboard Dance Chart. She also was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award by Mojo magazine. Aside from her achievements she was also an inspiration to many songs from The Beatles, such as Abbey Road's "Because" that was written due to Lennon watching Yoko play Beethoven's "Moonlight backwards.

The new Plastic Ono Band's new album "Between My Head And The Sky", which was co-produced with her son Sean Lennon, who opened up for his mother under the name, The Ghost Of A Saber Tooth Tiger with his girlfriend, Charlotte Kemp Muhl. The new album is supported through Chimera Music label, which is a record label that Sean Lennon runs out of his kitchen in his apartment in New York.

The Chimera Music label's show case was Saturday, March 19th at Elysium on Red River off of 7th street with Ghost Of A Saber Tooth Tiger, Kemp and Eden, If By Yes (Petra Haden of Superchunk's band), Consortium Musicum (Lennon and Greg Saunier), Fig, mi-gu, and of course Plastic Ono Band. GOASTT's set was quite niminy-piminy. While Lennon led the way supermodel instrumentalist Muhl followed behind with milky whispers that could possibly be the most gorgeous sound ever produced. It being a Saturday night, the crowd was tired and sunburned from early in the day. Yoko would enter stage at 1am. Which would then be Sunday March 20th. The wedding anniversary for Ono and Lennon. It was a very special moment. A rare one at that. While most women in their 70s are asleep and have not been in a bar since their 30s, Yoko was dancing on stage as if she were trying to do her own style of zumba. She smiled through the whole set while looking over her sunglasses that slid half way down the bridge of her nose. Through mid set Yoko tossed her hat into the crowd for a lucky fan to catch such as the time Michael Jackson tossed out the pillow from his hotel room just before he hung his baby over the balcony.

The night was indescribable. It still seams dreamlike. I met Yoko Ono. I talked to Sean and it just seems so surreal that when I referred to Yoko to him I said "your mom". I also did another interview with Charlotte in the men's bathroom. This will and be my only degree of being that close to The Beatles. I was there. The first time Yoko met John Lennon she handed him a note. It had seven letters that formed a word of inspiration, "Breathe". So as I walked out I took a deep breath. Those seven words hung heavy over my head like yesterday's news. My lungs were occupied by Austin's smokey air. I still felt the impression of Lennon's hand in my hand from our greeting, Yoko's ambient dolphin cry rang in my ears, and Charlotte's silly gang sign tossin' while we were chit chattin' wouldn't leave my mind. I exhaled and disappeared into the heavy traffic of thousands on 6th St where nobody knew my name, but I didn't care because I just saw Yoko Ono.

Jacob Calle: In my opinion Lady Gaga is the grandest living rendition of you. You both share the same manifestations of the avant garde attitude. How do you feel that the largest name in the world right now is spreading the same messages that you and John supported in 70's?

Yoko Ono: I love it! They say "Looking good is half the game. The other half is how you present it." Well, you can't say we weren't looking good then. We were, too, right? For that time. Lady Gaga is sparkling now. I love her!

JC: To name a few greats that have got their feet wet in the Plastic Ono Band, Bette Midler, Keith Moon, and Eric Clapton, and now you can add Lady Gaga to your list who performed with you on October 2nd in LA of last year in celebration of John's birthday. How did it come about of the two of you collaborating for this very special occasion? What was the whole performance like and whatcha think of Gaga's bottom that was fully exposed during the concert?

YO: I thought she exposed a great looking butt. If you have a good one, why not? In fact, she was modestly hiding it with lacy stuff. I think that was cool.

JC: You Twitter positive messages that make people think. These messages can get one through the day. If John Lennon had a Twitter account what do you suppose he'd be tweetin' about?

YO: We were like one Apple. So we would have sent good messages together.

JC: So your new record "Between my head and the Sky" was just released in 2009 which is amazingly produced by your son Sean. The last time before that was in the 70's. Why now?

YO: Just happened that way. But the last one was not in the 70's. I put out a few CDs since then. I hope you'll look for them and listen. You may enjoy them....

JC: I'm sorry I should have said the last time the name Plastic Ono Band was used. So you've received great reviews from Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, and others. Do you feel that people of this generation understand your art a lot more than your audience from the 70's?

YO: I suppose so. I am still in awe and dazed about it.

JC: You are in your 70's. By now women of your age are living the lives of Golden Woman and think that they should go to doctor to get vaccinated for Beiber Fever, but you on the other hand have been on the Billboard Charts for dance for more than 2 months. Within these months you've had 6 consecutive #1 chart toppers. So what's it like to know that Britney Spears, Rihanna, and Katy Perry are in competition and the people's shoes have spoken. It's your song "Move on Fast" that people wanna dance to! How do you wrap our head around that?

YO: I am not competing with anybody. If i thought about it, I'll probably faint...How could you compete with those strong acts? What happened to my songs in dance charts is because of very talented and creative remix artists. I'm a lucky girl!

JC: Many artist such as The Cure, Architecture in Helsinki, Lady Gaga, and The Faint have put out a remix album of their songs, but you on the other hand put out an album of 10 different remixes of just one song "Move on Fast" by various artists. A song that you have written in 1972, which is now getting heavy coverage. Obviously the record has done very well for itself, but did you at all feel iffy about putting out a record of ten versions of one song?

YO: My first records "Two Virgins", I called it "Unfinished Music No. 1", because I wanted people to put their own twist to it. I visualize many artists doing it. They didn't do it then, but now they are doing it after 40 odd years. I'm very happy.

imaginepeace.com twitter.com/yokoono

Arcade Fire hits The Woodlands

2011-04-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

Houston holds a special place in their heart for Arcade Fire. Lead singer Win Butler and brother William Butler once resided in the suburbs of The Woodlands, which is where they grew up. Win also has a nice relationship with our very own Houston band, Pale. If you were there from the beginning then you most likely saw Arcade Fire at Walter's On Washington with The Unicorns, Fiery Furnaces, and Austin's UME. The audience immediately knew right away that this band was not fucking around. This is a band that you would want to jump on quick before they become the next big thing. And you know what? They were. Within a year later Arcade Fire came back to Houston headlined at Fat Cat's (which is now Pearl Bar) with opening performer, Final Fantasy who stood in with Arcade Fire on violin. It was a sold out performance with the band closing to "Wake Up". The woes that give birth to the song resurrected in the end as they exited the stage while still performing until they were out of audience's site.

Arcade Fire had created a buzz that was louder than a hive of killer bees. Not just Houston or America, but the world was in love with this catastrophic orchestra riot who found their home in Montreal. This band was here to stay.

Since then, the band has played all over the world selling out venues, making records, and just recently won a Grammy. They've not played Houston since their Fat Cat's show in 2006. Now Houston welcomes them back May 4th at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion in The Woodlands where the Butler brothers can call their old stomping grounds. So can we say that this is a hometown show for the two? After all, this is what their latest record "The Suburbs" is about. The new album includes references to Houston's on going street construction and how it felt growing up in a cookie cutting town. A town where society laid out your life for you to wake up in the morning, drink your coffee, go to work, go home, eat dinner, go to bed, and do it all over again, but Win and William had other plans. To be the biggest indie band in the world.

Wednesday May 4th
Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
w/ Explosions in the Sky

Fan of Arcade Fire? Then check these out!

Owen Pallet/Final Fantasy
Owen used to play with Arcade. He is now successfully doing his own music which I am greatly fond of. He's performed at Fat Cat's, The Proletariat, and just recently at House of Blue opening for The National. Here's a song dedicated to Win and Regine of Arcade Fire.

Little Scream
Co-produced by Richard Perry Reed of Arcade Fire. He also plays music with the band along with Sarah Neufeld, who is the Arcade's violinist. Before I knew the relationship with Arcade Fire I saw them and immediately thought of Arcade. An amazing live band indeed. I really hope to see this band grow far.

Bell Orchestre
Another band related to Richard and Sarah.

CLARK the band
Bassist, Tim Kingsbury plays for this band as well.

Les Jongleurs de la Mandragore
If ya wanna get really dirty with Arcade Fire then you might wanna listen to Regine's medieval times group.

Secret Mommy: The Mall

2011-04-27T18:19:00.001-07:00

Secret Mommy's latest release is a 27 minute soundtrack to a Darren Aronofsky film that does not exist. These 8 tracks have no beginning nor do they have an end as they seamlessly transcend into the next without interruption.

The equation to the myriad mind of Andy Dixon has no solution. The Mall is a glitchy/cut/paste/copy/sample of consumerism in the most adoring way. Previous releases Dixon has recorded samples of recreational activities and dentistry. This time Dixon takes you on a tour of cashiers, elevators, children laughing, and sales associates trying to make you offers on the latest sale. Multi-talented artist, Andy Dixon has made gorgeous music to a place where we all fear the most. The shopping mall.

Andy Dixon is from Vancouver, Canada. Where to even begin with this character I have not own a clue. So lets just put it like this; amazing painter, owns a record label called Ache Records, guitarist for Red Light Sting, hella talented videographer, website designer, graphic designed t-shirts for Steve Aoki's "Dim Mak Collection", designed the DVD layout for my movie "What the Hell", plays guitar also in D.B.S., Winning, and Healthy Students, put two albums out under Epidemic, also just recently put an album out under his own name.

Andy Dixon is what you would call a golden renaissance man. Give the guy a buck and he'll buy a Dr. Pepper, but if you also give him a recorder he'll make a song out of the bottle of Dr. Pepper. Slurp/ha-haaaaaaa/pssssssst/click/tkt-tkt/swish. Dixon is a true artist that challenges his talents and gives music a new definition. So thanks for always keeping us with our ears in empty glass cups up against your wall, because we never know what you're going to do next.

Note: The Mall can be purchased online for digital download for $4 at ACHE RECORDS

BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE!...."Crap...why'd you say it?"

2011-04-06T23:15:00.000-07:00

I've been writing interviews since I was in highschool. I'm not sure if I would say it was a pleasure interviewing the oddest
human being to ever be created so I'm just going to say that I asked this oddball freaks some questions. This dude named Sean who tried to make money off of this freak by selling him for appearances tried to fight me. I was working on my first movie
and I was searching for companies who would be interested in buying space on the dvd for a movie trailor. His "manager"
mailed me a vhs copy of the commercial. It was utterly the most bullshit garabage. The quality was shot to shit as if the tape was a porno and was thrown out by a thirteen year old into the woods. By the way, are kids still doing that nowadays? I always found porn in the woods. Or are kids tossing desktop computers behind a bushes because they googled "Snookie nude"? So I ultimately decided that this ad for Beetlejuices new movie was not going to be on my dvd. First of all, it was on vhs. I would have had to hook all kinds of wires up to convert the vhs to mini dv, then convert that to the computer. Not my job so I threw the tape away. A week later his manager called me, "When are you going to mail that tape back?" "I threw it away." He was in Dallas at the time and wanted to drive to Houston to beat my ass. "That was the master tape you dumb fuck!" Well lesson learned for him. Don't send shit. So back to Beetlejuice. You may have remembered him from The Howard Stern show. He was the whipping boy of the show. Stern hooked him up with hookers and what not. Weird little guy. So here I am interviewing Beetlejuice who was a regular character on Stern's show. Stern later learned about my videos and said that my brother puking on a stripper was the best video he has ever seen on the internet. Oh, the 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon with a midget freak fest. So anyways. He's the 9th wonder of the world. He acted in the movie Bubble Boy with Jake Gyllenhaal as well as Scary Movie 2 who had Simon Rex aka Dirt Nasty in Scary Movie 3, who I opened up for with my old sex addicted rap group, Balls Deep. Here's the interview.

Jacob: What grade are you in?
Beetlejuice: I ain't got no grades! My grades been gone for years. What do you think I'm a baby or something!?

J: How many chicks have you fucked?
B: I fucked at least twenty. At least over a hundred.

J: Ever got a chick pregnant?
B: Hell no! That bitch must have gotten fucked by somebody else! I don't deal with shit like that!

J:Who is your best friend?
B: Sean, who else?

J: How big is your dick?
B: My dick is the size of a fucking bowling ball!

J: How did you come up with the nickname, Beetlejuice?
B: It's my nick name! What else?!

J: But isn't that a rip-off. What about Tim Burton's movie from 1988? Michael Cravin plays a character named Beetlejuice.
B: Fuck that rip-off shit! I got my shit I do!

J: How do you feel about being in the same issue with Isabelle from Supercult.com?
B: I don't mind as long as she gives up the ass.

J: Would ya fuck her?
B: I'll bang her like a truck bro! I'll swing that pussy upside down like a chicken!

J: So what kind of shit are you into?
B: I build shit dude! Houses, decks, swimming pool. All types of dangerous shit!

J: Walrus tusks, Dirty Sanchez, Peppermint Twist, Wooley Mammoth....ever perform any of these?
B: What the fuck is you saying!? I don't eat peppermints bro! I'm on a diet!

J: What was your first job?
B: I was a chef. I cooked pizzas and shit like that.

J: How many lives have you saved?
B: I saved this one guy that almost got hit by a bus. Almost took his fucking neck off!

J: Have you found Jesus?
Jesus is God asshole! How can I find him when he's in the clouds somewhere?

J: What are your favorite bands?
B: Chili Peppers, I used to play lead guitar. Snoop Dogg is my lost brother too.

J: I like jokes. I wanna hear a joke. Can you tell me a joke?
B: What is the difference between a cat and an elephant?

J:What?
B: The cat's balls swing lower.

J: Ummm?....So tell me about your home made movie. What do we expect to see in it?
B: I get laid and get my cock sucked. Oh yeah, I piss in Drunken Jamie's ear while he's sleeping.

J: Any shout outs?
B: Yeah, shoot my balls in a girl's asshole.

THE END.
NOTE: I haven't read this interview in 10 years. The dude is a shit bag, but I felt that I had to put it on the blog.

My rad shit!

2011-03-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite things I own.

James Templeton is one of my best friends. He gave this to me right when I moved into my home. It seems to be everyone's favorite piece except for my dad who says it's not finished. I continue to see my friends keep touching it. "DON'T TOUCH IT!"
The top half is a delicate piece due to the plastic window which gives you a view of the styrofoam, a sock, and...more styrofoam.
It reminds me greatly of Cy Twombly's art and had Cy created this it'd still be my favorite piece. So James, thank you.

Through a paleontologist from Pennsylvania, I purchased this fragment of a mammoth rib from him. It's about 15 inches. The rib was found in a Russia where a sea once existed. It's 15,000 years old. Considering that terrible lizards once existed millions of years ago 15,000 years isn't that far at all. We existed. We killed them.

Owning books could possibly be the best thing that you could possibly own. While mine are mostly reference books I use them to do my own personal research on animals. From the extinct dodo to animal migration behavior. I need to stop letting people borrow them, because they take forever to be returned.

This painting was done by Andy Dixon from Vancouver, Canada. Andy played in a band called DBS. He also played in Red Light Sting, which is probably one of the best of it's kind. It's a real bummer that they didn't lift off as they should have. I still think about it sometimes. (scroll to bottom for a Red Light Sting video)

My brother Chris gave this to me the night before Fun Fun Fun Fest. He pulled up to our hotel with this. I was pretty stoked. So stoked that I brought it on stage with us when we performed. Just recently I tried the new Sparks tea. It's really good.

Nuff said. The producer of the hover board created many for the movie, due to wear and tear. I bought one. It was expensive and I don't care. I've only let one person handle it and that was Todd, singer of The Faint. He was fucking stoked. I was too.

E.T. was the very first movie that I saw in theatre. At first the film makers of the movie wanted to use M&Ms instead of Reeses, but M&M's denied their request, because E.T. was scary looking and children would be afraid of it. So Amblin Productions went with a new company called Reeses. Their sales shot up 25%. I was proof that kids were not afraid of this alien. I was obsessed with E.T. Looking through my baby book there are pictures of me in diapers wearing E.T. shirts and holding my E.T. doll. Years later out of diapers there are pics of me wearing E.T. shirts. I had an E.T. party at age 5. He was my best friend. Libby and Bryan gave this E.T. to me when I turned 20.

3 words. I love DEVO.

My brothers and I received this foos ball table when we were kids for Christmas. We had one before then, but I was using a golfball as a foos ball and decapitated one of the soccer men's head. I believe my dad paid $400 for this table brand new. You couldn't find a table for $400 like mine if you wanted to. Just don't make them like they used to. We play this on a regular basis. And if you want to gamble I will take your money. Just sayin'.

OH LAND

2011-03-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

Very excited to see Oh Land perform. She performed 12 shows total at SXSW. Expect big things from this lil European, who now resides in New York.

Zombie Boy vs. Lady Gaga

2011-03-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

Lady Gaga's latest video completely shocked me the other day when I spotted who was in it. You all may watch the video and think, "Cool make-up effects." This is where you are wrong. Meet Rick Genest aka Zombie Boy. Lady Gaga splits into two as Zombie Boy in the beginning of the video. Towards the end of the video Gaga has matched Rick's image and becomes a zombie as well. So what's so special about Zombie Boy? Tattoos are for life.

Last year of July I did an interview with Billy Billboard who tattoos porn sites on his face for money. What's funny is that I couldn't decide on who I wanted to interview. A guy who tattooed necrotic dead flesh on his body to share the looks of a zombie or a broke guy who desperately had porn sites pay him to tat his face with advertisements. I went with porn face. CLICK HERE for Billy's interview.

Now Billy and Rick aren't the only freaks in town. Meet my friend Mr. Sprague who the world knows by The Lizard Man. He did a small cameo in my first movie "What the Hell" and performed with us at our last stunt show at Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin last year. The dude is dope and has a band called Lizard Skynard.

2011-03-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

I wrote an article for Free Press about Banksy and The Oscars.

Henry Darger, Edgar Allen Poe, and Vincent van Gogh were artists who no one knew and became famous for their work after their death. Then there’s London based Banksy, a street vandal who is very well known and alive, but no one knows a clue on who he is.

You can read it by clicking on the paragraph above or check out the March issue of Free Press Houston. Peace!

Top pro on the down low of the blow

2011-02-08T16:58:00.000-08:00

A woman from New Mexico was strongly urged to try a free sample of Yogurt that the grocery store was offering. After a hard persuasion she took a spoon full and immediatly spit it out. She said it tasted like cum. Warm and salty, eh? The 31 year old Anthony Garcia had probably grabbed the latest issue of Maxum and jerked it in the bathroom and inserted his man juice into the Yogurt. The woman was absolutely correct. It's not the sperm in the Yogurt that gets me, but the fact that she nailed it on the dot. So I'm wondering how much dick has she ya know...to pin point what sperm taste like!?! Impressive? I guess it does pay off to have such unchaste conduct!

I Choo-choo-choose you

2011-02-07T19:48:00.000-08:00

Boys rifle through their candy hearts with messages encrypted on them that read "too hot" or "i'm yours" so that they can give to their little sweet hearts. Well that was then, because things are getting quite edgy such as that time Target was selling thongs for 13 year girls. WOOF! Well 6th grader, Ciara Bush did not find a "i love you" or a "call me" heart. Instead she got a little heart that read "nice tits"! Nice tits...wow. Some how Necco, the company who makes these little suckers also make adult themed candy hearts that reads "blow me" or some shit. If I were them I'd go back and send Necco a candy heart that reads, "you can bet your SEET ASS that you'll be hearing from my lawyer soon."...well actually that'd probably be like 4 hearts.

Superbowl Prediction Steelers VS Packers onTecmo Superbowl NES

2011-02-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

Alrighty folks, Superbowl is just in a few hours and we've got your prediction right here. We've got some strong plays, a wonderful halftime report, and some rad ads. Enjoy.

GO STEELERS!

Sidenote:
Each year companies are always thinking of the latest marketing scheme for Superbowl that will raise brows. Go Daddy made an ad so horrible that it would of course make all the "Worst Superbowl Ads" lists giving them more ad time than what they spent on for the game. Bloggers, radios, news, magazines covered it and gave Go Daddy a worthy mention of bullshit...And it worked so props to Go Daddy. I believe the same year Dorito's decided to play it cheap and creative by hosting a "create your own Superbowl Commercial ad contest". The winner would have their commercial played during the game. Giving the every day person a chance to have their own Superbowl Commercial. It raised enough attention and gave the product more publicity. The latest publicity stunt is banning your own commercials! It's brilliant! Making a commercial that would deliberately get banned by S&P (standards and practices) so that it would raise controversy! This way they do not have to spend millions on airing it, the Internet is already talking about it, and the commercial gets promoted weeks before the Superbowl! Here above is a banned Dorito's commercial that will only make it on the net. Can't wait to see what next year's schemes are!

Yo dick wear herpes must be a livin hell while mine is jazzed up covered in Chanel.

2011-02-05T16:44:00.000-08:00

That's right folks! No more cheap shit from gas station bathroom dispencers, but it's not the size of your dick it's the size of your pockets. These babies go for $279 for a pack o' dozen. So if you're gonna do some classy ass fuuuuuuggin' you better be pickin' up those extra shifts at work.

Ok, gigs up. Actually the whole Chanel condom shabang was an internet prank, but if ya wanna get some Steve O skins you can click here --> STEVEO.

Do you like to party?

2011-01-30T21:37:00.000-08:00

A dude tonight asked me if I party. He asked me in a way that a dad would ask his son if he is gay and all I could think of was Andrew WK. And im like, Fuck yeh I party!". Then he asked if I wanted coke.

POP! POP! BLAM!

2011-01-30T12:50:00.000-08:00

I can safely say that I am the only human being that has ever blogged Canadian's pop queen Avril Levigne and the British pop legends Blur in one post. While the music video of Blur's pop scene is in my head the soundtrack to it is Avril's "What the Hell".

ARTOPIA!

2011-01-18T19:59:00.001-08:00

http://www.freepresshouston.com/uncategorized/artopia/

Houston Press Artopia

Houston Press Artopia presented by Stella Artois

Join us on Saturday, January 29th from 8pm – 11pm at Winter Street Studios (2101 Winter St.) as we celebrate Houston’s best artists, musicians, fashion designers, culinary masters and cocktail creators. Enjoy complimentary food, wine, cocktail and beer sampling.

Entertainment includes three musical performances, three fashion shows, and live performance art. Get the full entertainment lineup here.

Don’t miss the special presentation of the 3rd annual Mastermind Awards Ceremony. At the event, Houston Press will award a $2,000 grant to three Mastermind Awards to progressive individuals or small organizations that have made an impact in the local art community.

General Admission: $40 donation. VIP tickets: $75 includes complimentary valet, catering by Latina Cafe and access to exclusive VIP lounge. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Houston PBS. All guests must be 21+.

After Party: The Artopia celebration will continue into the night from 11pm – 2am at Kobain (3720 Raymond), host of the official Artopia after party. Admission is free.

Artopia sponsored by: Stella Artois, LikeMe.net, Momentum Audi, Chambord, Del Espadin, Houston Metropolitan Dance Company, Nauset Concepts, Neal Hamil Agency, War’Hous Visual Studios, LangeTwins, Pinot’s Palette, Total Furniture, Houston Arts Alliance, Silverleaf Resorts, Brugal Rum, 104.1 KRBE and 103.7 FM. Get tickets now at HoustonPressArtopia.com!

Live Musical Performances: Grandfather Child, Lee Alexander Band, and Peekaboo Theory!

Performing Art Stage: Dominic Walsh Dance Theater, Houston Metropolitan Dance Company and Cuadro La Tempestad Flamenco.

Participating Restaurants: Ooh La La, Phoenicia Specialty Foods, Last Concert Cafe, The Counter, Fadi's Mediterranean Grill, Jamaica House, Calliope's Po-Boys and more!

Fashion by: Jajo Couture, Coronation Vintage and Melodrama Boutique!

The VIP area will feature an exclusive lounge provided by Total Furniture and art from War'Hous Visual Studios.

For sponsorship information please contact Allisen Picos at Allisen.Picos@villagevoicemedia.com

Girl Talk: And why he's cooler than you.

2011-01-15T16:49:00.000-08:00

Can’t afford a DJ, but don’t want to play your 5 disk cd changer at your next dope house party while mom and dad went on a cruise ship that leaves off from Galveston next week? While he personally does not consider himself a DJ you can definitely have one hype ass party by playing his records. So if your stereo goes up to 12 then slam that shit to 15 and dance mother fucker! We all sweated our asses off when Girl Talk performed at the Free Press Summer Fest and now he is coming again! He will be performing tracks from his new record “All Day” on January 13th! So come out and get some!

Jacob: Lets dissect your work. How do you filter your tracks? Lets say you start with the intro to “Head over Heals” by The Go-Go’s. For vocals, where do you find the acapella track to make what you want or do you have a program that allows you to separate the vocals from the track?

Gregg: I usually work with the studio acapella. There are ways to separate the vocals from the tracks on your own. Which is kind of interesting to me, but I don’t so that so much, because even when you get it as good as it can get you can still find artifacts in there. That really bothers my ears. I can’t stand when you can hear that additional noise. A whole world of studio acapella that date back when labels started to press 12” singles. They would give those away on the B-side of the vinyl. Nowadays it is on digital vinyl for DJs. People think that it’s this hidden thing and they don’t realize that it’s out there for the public.

J: While creating a section do you search for beats with the same rhythm to create smooth transitions or do you slow or speed the track at your own expense?

G: The program that I use to perform live and to do the arrangements is called AudioMulch. In that program it automatically pitch shifts. Meaning that if you sample a beat that is 89bpm
And you want to use with a sample that at 90bpm it can automatically stretch it.

J: So when you are trying to puzzle in these samples I’m only assuming that it’s kinda like trading baseball cards with your friend right? Nope. Nope. Nope. Yep. Maybe. Nope. Yep.
I’m sure you’ve created a monster in your head.

G: It’s not like I would hear a melody on the radio and say, “Oh, that would go well with that.” It’s more like if I heard a melody I would think, “Oh, that would go well with something.” You hear one line and a vocal that has a very punctual rhythm to it. So constantly when I am cutting things up and saving samples I am not even concerned what would go well with it. Over the record there are 372 songs that is one cohesive music. If you listen to the band Yes there are a million of things happening in an eight-minute song, but ultimately it’s a cohesive unit that forms a song. So it’s constantly changing. It is beefed, but ultimately it is one beef. Not like 100 tiny monsters running around.

J: So you walk into a grocery store, a bar, a mall, or anywhere and there is music playing does your brain pace at 100mph?

G: I get in and out of the mode of hunting for samples. Now that the album is done and I’m getting ready for tour I am in that mode right now. I’m constantly looking for things on a daily basis. Things just jump out at me. At the grocery store, a TV commercial, a jukebox at the bar. I’ve been doing this for ten years so it’s hard to sit down and say, “OK, so what songs have I not thought of yet?” There might be a song that you’ve heard a hundred times, but maybe you heard it a little different this time. Everyone is singing along to it at a bar and now you hear that instrumental breakdown when everyone goes silent.

J: Very interesting. So New York Times magazine has called your music, “A lawsuit waiting to happen”. Have you been attacked yet? If not, then how come?

G: I have not and there are no issues at this point. I’m on my fifth album. When you do music like this the US allows you to sample preexisting works without asking permission depending on the criteria for what you are doing. It is in a grey area and someone could challenge us and at that point I would go to court and fight it. More and more years I am hearing less of that. People have been writing that story for four or five years and now that I’m on new album they cannot say that anymore as much as they used to. On each album people would say that I am going to get sued by 200 people, but I don’t think I will be. It’s the value of a remix and the values have become very common. You look around YouTube and there are 200 remixes of a new pop song, 300 fans made videos, alternative remixes of the remix. That’s kind of a way that the world works now. Labels will now send me CDs and acapella tracks, not specifically asking me to use it, but more less implying that. As the years have gone I feel slightly more comfortable.

J: How was it playing Free Press Summer fest with artist that you used tracks from?

G: It was cool. I love Houston. I love Houston’s music history. Particularly DJ Screw. Houston rap is starting to blow. Well blow up. Not suck. That music in my mind will always be associated with my “Night Ripper”, which was the first record that I did. I’ve been a fan of those guys’ music for a while. I love cutting that stuff up and referencing a lot rap music. Southern rap music has a very punctual flow. It’s very rhythmic which makes it easy for me to figure out.

J: I know you carry the same concept from record to record, but do you try to explore and branch out with each record. If so how does “All Day” stand apart from the others?

G: The project first started off a lot more experimental. It was very abrasive. The second album was the first album that had more structure and actual beats. Then on “Night Ripper” It had a lot of those ideas of sampling and jumping around very quickly, but I applied that to a whole. It was the first record that I did as a whole where it’s 40 minutes that is all pieced together. And from there it’s been in the same format. But not I try not to play it as a numbers game and try to cram as many samples as I can, but to build more music. I think from “Night Ripper” to the new album I feel like I have gotten better on actual production. Making things sound full, paying attention to every detail.

J: So have you got a certain section in “All Day” that you are proud of?

G: Yeah, one that jumps out at me is the section with the combination of Soldier Boy with Pretty Boy Swag and Aphex Twins’ “Window Licker”. It’s sucha weird mixture. They are weird pop stars in their weird way. With Pretty Boy Swag I tried it with 40 things and nothing was working. I was thinking that this is a song that will never see the light of day and that I am never going to use this. Finally I came upon the combination of Aphex Twins. It just really linked in. The combination just really locked down on a connectional level that I am very proud of.

J: For those that might be wondering, now that Girl Talk has received world wide status are you still a biochemical engineer?

G: No, I had to quit the job a few years back. I’ve played around 150 shows and that basically means being on the road for about 200 days. So it’s tough to hold down the day job.

Down load his latest record ALL DAY for free by clicking HERE!

What Jory gets for X-mas

2010-12-26T09:42:00.000-08:00

Will you marry me?

2010-12-16T10:52:00.000-08:00

Till death do us apart with a punch in the face.

Jonsi

2010-12-04T17:01:00.000-08:00

Imagine Sigur Ros with solid confident drums and more pop and you get Jonsi, which is the lead singer’s solo project. Jonsi’s music can only be described as an unknown tropical specie that some how managed to survive the cold weather of Iceland that coos and chirps through out the night while his creature companions encourage him on with fireworks and sparklers. The picture below is of when I saw him perform this so called magic. It was gorgeous.

and if you’d like to hear the studio recording of this song here ya go!

Kat Dennings gettin’ nekkid

2010-11-20T17:55:00.000-08:00

Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist was an okay movie. Had Kat shown her goods off more the movie would have been
a success, but she didn’t so I only watched it once. Kat Dennings the star of the movie decided to give the world a peep
show and post them on line as did Hayley of Paramour who twitpic’d her tits for all young boys to see. Sweet! So when will the Olsen Twins find out about this hot trend and jump on it!

And for good measure since we’re posting up the noooodz. Here’s Hayley.

Why do I feel like Perez Hilton right now?

I wanna be your dog

2010-11-19T07:34:00.000-08:00

What better way to emulate an Iggy Pop jam than to make a music video florid with attractive young girls in a casting call? House Production had Georgie Greville create this rad video. Check it out. I think it’s dope.

And for the original....

Girl Talk’s “All Day : DOWNLOAD HERE FOR FREE!

2010-11-16T11:59:00.000-08:00

If he’s a thief then I’ma thief! Girl Talk’s new album is up and is quite poppy taking bits and pieces from U2, The Boss, Kesha, Lady Gaga, and along with 373 samples in total.

DOWNLOAD IT FREE HERE!:
http://www.illegal-art.net/allday/

1.21 Jiga Watts! GREAT SCOTT!

2010-11-14T16:09:00.000-08:00

Bands Worth Checking Out and how I got in to them

2010-11-13T12:25:00.000-08:00

I saw this lovely dove perform a couple years ago with Erika at Perez Hilton’s party. I walk in and it was magic, but I didn’t feel like asking anyone who she was. Months later Emily hands me a cd and it was her. We reunited.

Yelle - A Cause Des Garasons

Yelle - Ce Jeu

They’re not too many bands of this genre that I care for, but this band does it. Heart felt jams that could easily fall you in love with the next girl/guy you see. Take them on a date and next thing you know the two of you are writing each other love letters on antique type writers.

Here We Go Magic - Collector

Here We Go Magic - Fangela

Remember when the oldies station actually played the oldies? 107.5 sucks. We need a radio station that plays 50’s.

Gary Lewis & The Playboys - This Diamond Ring

Gary Lewis & The Playboys - Jill

I bought this CD just because I thought that she was a cutie. She had style so of course I assumed it was going to be great. I was wrong. It was amazing. Fans of Carol King check out Diane Birch. I’m addicted. While I was in New York I saw that she tweeted where she was at and I was on the street. Fuck, why does Bedford have to be so long. I did not see her.

Diane Birch - Choo Choo

Diane Birch - Valentino

ps. Wanna know how she shot this video? Scroll down to some early posts. It’s quite the watch.

My brother Chris lived in California and he would tell me about this girl Anya that he would see perform in coffee shops. He even told me that she once said the word “pussy” and was removed from the cafe where she was performing at. Now she has a song called “Satellite” on the Twilight soundtrack so she can now pretty much say what ever the hell she wants on stage. Vampires must really like her because her music was also featured in Vampire Diaries.

Anya Marina - Move You

Anya Marina - All The Same To Me

I wrote a review for this band for Vice last year and fell in love. Thanks Vice.

worthy checker outters:
OH NO OH MY: BE A STAR (Austin, TX)

HARLEM: FRIENDLY GHOST (AUSTIN, TX)

SLEIGH BELLS: INFINITY GUITARS

JESKA HOOP: 4 DREAMS
ps. the actual recording of the song is great. quite chaotic.

Knives, Guns, and Beards! Oh my!

2010-11-12T12:32:00.000-08:00

So did they take him to the bathroom with a gun on his back making him shave it? Was shaving cream involved?
Damn, do I ever so love the internet.

Reasons why Summer should be extended

2010-11-12T11:33:00.000-08:00

What’s hotter than a chick in a bathing suit sporting Neil across her front? Oh ya know, if she were on a diving board pulling off a splashless jack knife. So girls, do yourself a favor and buy some of these leering skivvies and follow the season by a private jet to avoid the cold just so that you can always look good on the pool side all year long. DONE!

and last. My favorite. I have never watched Starwars, but I can guarantee you I am now a fan.

/

THEOPHILUS LONDON

2010-11-12T10:31:00.000-08:00

At first I thought his name was a scientific Greek name, but then it would have been Theophilus london. So if we break this down the genus “theo” meaning god. “philus” meaning: When a child is born, it is not able to eat bread, but is first fed on milk, and then with its advance in years it proceeds to solid food. And specie london, well one could easily think he’s from London, but he’s not. He’s from Brooklyn. He’s not an exotic animal or an ill child god, but just a dude with a fucked up name that makes exotic sounds. Theophilus London plays a swing of 80’s electronic beats in the vein of Kraftwork and hip hops over it with some funky chopped up lyrics. He’s performing in Houston 3 December 2010 at Fitzgerald’s. Fans of: Jay Z, Lupe Fiasco, and Kanye. and yes, I am a fan. It’s fucking brilliant. So I am here posting this sharing it with you.

Stunts gone wrong

2010-11-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

Back in the day my interests did not include consequences. Unlike my friend who has those exact words tattooed on his arm. Must we remind ourselves before our actions? “Better look at my arm!” Well, I do not have this tattoo so pretty much anything goes. I found this video online of my friend and myself doing some pretty heroic stunts. We were creating new footage before our show with Steveo on his “Don’t Try This At Home Tour”. I’m not sure if it was my shitty driving or my concussion from constantly crashing down this mud hill numerous times because I was rendered a citation for swirving on the highway on our way home. Eesh! Our plan was to hit that log and eat shit. Instead, the tire taco’d and with the same results with a log smash we flew over the handle bars and gravity took it’s toll. Thanks Isaac Newton.

This Saturday I will be performing our VERY last stunt show at Fun Fun Fun Fest. If you are going to it come check us out at the YELLOW stage at 1:30pm. PEACE!

www.funfunfunfest.com

Interview with Tom Green

2010-11-03T20:29:00.000-07:00

What a fun night. Shelby (the one filming) and I went to meet Tom Green for an interview. The two of us went and saw his stand up at The Improv. I still have a bucket of Dave and Buster tickets to be redeemed...someday

Probe the Loeb: The Ass

2010-11-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

yup. har har har wouldn’t you?

Tim Walker VS Rihanna

2010-10-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

My friend posted the new Rihanna “Ony Girl” video on Facebook and I was surprised on how inspired it was from Tim Walker’s work of art. “Could Tim Walker be directing music videos now?” I asked myself, but Walker is better than to recreate his magic and to emulate it on film so I’m only assuming that these are “rip-offs” of his photography. All in all it’s a wonderful music video and it’s nice to see Tim’s work being appreciated with great style. See for your self.

What are your thoughts?

Crystal Beach

2010-08-09T17:32:00.000-07:00

The Crystals "Then he kissed me"

The Beach Boys "Then I kissed her"

Lady Gaga: The spaceship has landed.

2010-08-09T13:02:00.001-07:00

Lady Gaga has exited her spaceship and came back down to Earth with a unanticipated
crowd surf during Semi Precious Weopon's set. While only wearing pasties over her nipples and fishnet stockings she proceeded to dive into the crowd to get groped and molested by hands of the attendees of Lollapalooza. There's no reason to continue this article. Don't take my word for it. Watch the video.

Billy: The Human Billboard

2010-07-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

What would you do for a buck? Run naked freely through Montrose? Punch Bryan Jackson in the face, or maybe even get web addresses tattooed on your face? That’s what Billy Gibby did. He has companies pay him X amount of money to advertise their companies on his face. To get that new X Box 360? Nope. To buy that new 59 inch platinum gold flat screen tv? Nu-uh. To buy that rad jet ski that Kenny Powers skis on in East Bound & Down? Not even close. So why does he do it? To survive.
Jacob: You are a human billboard. What will you do when the internet no longer exists or when a site goes under.

Billy: If that ever happens where the internet doesnt exist anymore then I will just keep the tattoo ads. They are a part of me now and I will keep them forever, well maybe not forever because when I am dead someday I won’t have skin so at that time there will be no more tattoo advertising for me.

Jacob: You've got The Zombie guy who has tattooed his whole body to look like rotting flesh. You on the other hand have websites on your body including the word "porn" on your cheek. What motivates one to do such an extremity that once you go forward there is no turning back.

Billy: Survival is what motivates me to do what I do. Times are hard now and I decided to go back to tattoo advertising after getting laid off from work and my family and I were facing eviction. I looked for jobs, but there was nothing I could do that would help stop us from being homeless and I thought, “Okay, I will do tattoo advertising again.”

Jacob: On that note you have sold your kidney to a woman in California?

Billy: I never sold my kidney to anyone that’s against the law. I donated my kidney to her I would never sell an organ or blood. I do it to help people and try to better the lives of others.

Jacob: Well aren't you a lil' modern day philanthropist! Just how much blood have you donated?

Billy: Don’t know what I am. I just know I want to do some good while I am alive. We all do things we’re not happy about, but we all have the power to try to do some good also and that’s all I am trying to do. I have donated 27 gallons of blood platelets so far. I would like to donate over 100 gallons in my life total.

Jacob: So after your kidney was taken out you ran a marathon and won the race while your stitches busted. Fill me in on this story.

Billy: A few weeks after donating my kidney I ran a 5K running race. I know it was stupid, but I just wanted to see if I could do it. I wish I could run a marathon. I did end up winning the 5K which was cool except throughout the race blood was dripping down my leg. I had to go to the hospital after the race and get more stitches and antibiotics for infection of the incision site.

Jacob: Whoa, that’s integrity. I'm pretty sure the movie, "Seven Pounds" starring Academy Award winning Will Smith is your favorite film right?

Billy: I do love that movie a lot. I am doing a lot of what I do for similar reasons to why he did what he did in the film. I feel like I have done some things in my life that I regret. I want to make good, help people now, and try to be a better person. Most of all, I want to make the lives of others better.

Jacob: Just how much have you made total off of your advertisements?

Billy: I haven’t made very much. Let’s just say that, I do it to survive and to provide for my kids.

Jacob: So I'm assuming that you are in contract to have your shirt off at all times since you've got web addresses on your chest as well right?

Billy: No. I don’t have to have my shirt off at all times. Thank God! I’d die. I live in Alaska. Sometimes it’s 20 below 0.

Jacob: I'm sorry to intrude into your personal love life, but how is the sex life?

Billy: It’s good. It’s more than good. Well, I think it’s good. Is having sex on an average of two times a day good?

Jacob: Go Billy! Okay, say I were to open an online female sex shop. How much would it cost to get my site tattooed on your penis? Would it get high traffic or should I just hire a sign spinnin' monkey?

Billy: No comment. My women would destroy my life if I made any comment or joke. And I would rather that not happen. My final tattoo ad that I plan to do in my life will be a tattoo ad on my penis. I want to save my last tattoo ad for the best spot on my body or one of the most important parts of my body. (laughs) Hopefully that spot will get the most money because to me that’s my most valuable area on my body.

Jacob: I know this should have been my first question, but all these questions were flowing all out at once. So how did you get into the advertisement business?

Billy: I got started in tattoo advertising before I donated my kidney. I was working at Sam’s Club at the time. I didn’thttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif have money saved up to pay my bills while I was recovering from surgery. That’s when I had seen a boxer wear a temp tattoo ad into the ring and I thought okay, “If he can do a temp ad I can do the real thing.” I contacted that website and they decided to advertise and that gave me enough money to pay my bills while I recovered from surgery. I then flew to California and donated my kidney.

Jacob: I'm really into Twitter. How much would it cost to put my twitter address on your hand to up my followers so that more people can know what I am doing at every minute of the day?

Billy: I would do that for $2,000. Lets git-r-done!

Jacob: You know the old saying "A face only a mother could love" right? What's your mom say about your tattoos?

Billy: I am not sure? I would have to kill myself in order to ask her and I don’t want to die yet.

Jacob: Crap. So I’m the asshole. Sorry. So what about holidays with the family? I'm sure your younger cousins want to know why you've got the word "porn" on your face? How do you explain this to little Lester?

Billy: My family has a good sense of humor and we love to joke around all the time. We all believe that you need to joke around and enjoy life and never be to serious. Unless you’re having a heart attack then it’s cool to be serious.

Jacob: Other than your web-tats do you own any personal tattoos on your body? Any tribes or mom tats?

Billy: My first tattoo was the emblem for the Pontiac Firebird. That was my favorite car and it was my first car.

Jacob: Cool, so your first tat still involves advertisement. Are you ever paid to go to sporting events and run through the field shirtless so that the television can capture it?

Billy: I have never been paid to do that, but I am open to the idea for any company that’s reading this. Let’s make this happen!

Jacob: What are some of the common stipulations that go in on a contract to get ad space on your body?

Billy: That I never remove the tattoo ad is the main one and when asked about the websites I tell people what the website is about.

Jacob: Sounds easy. What type of site would you not put on your body?

Billy: I would not put a website on my body that was in anyway racist. Other than that I am pretty much open to anything.

Jacob: You want people to gawk at you on the street or in a store while picking up some smokes. Otherwise your tat-adz isn’t working. What are some of your most memorable encounters with the random public.

Billy: I love the reaction of some older people. They really look at me like, “What the heck is going on?” Young people think it is so cool and actually most everyone has been pretty cool about it.

Jacob: Does Liberty Tax do your taxes now for free? What about that porn site? You get that unlimited password right?

Billy: I do get my taxes done for free for life and man Liberty tax service does a good job I mean they make getting your taxes done fun.

Jacob: So I take you’re not going to give me those passwords. So anyways, I don't own a business, but I'm really into going into bathrooms and scribbling "Jacob wuz here". You'd let me personally tattoo that in "mustache style" with handlebars above your lip right?

Billy: I dunno about that? Money talks, if it makes enough dollars then it may make sense! LOL

A note from Billy: I just want to add something very soon, I will no longer be Billy Gibby. I am having my name changed to Hostgator Dotcom. So I will be advertising in another unique way.

Want to get a hold of Billy? Heh, excuse me. I meant Mr. Hostgator Dotcom. Email him at boxingchampak@aol.com and you can follow is tweets at twitter.com/BillyBillboard

SOKO not Ono

2010-07-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

In words of my dear friend Emily, "You would!" And it's true. I do. Lil Frenchie now
living on the west coast in sunny California. Los Angeles to be exact. Hate it or love it. I like it so I thought I'd share it with ya.

www.myspace.com/mysoko

Your Friend, Andrew WK

2010-07-01T15:04:00.000-07:00

In 2002 when Andrew WK (born Andrew Wilkes-Krier) partied at the Engine Room I knew that there was
something special about him. After the show my friend Eric English and I had the opportunity to meet
this soon-to-be party king. During our conversation with Andrew Eric had told him that he lost his still
camera in the crowd. "That's a bummer, Eric. How much did it cost?" "$300.", Eric said. A few moments later
Andrew excused himself and said he'd be right back. Shortly after Andrew came back as he said, but with a
white envelope. "Here you go. I hope this buys you a new camera." says Andrew while still trying to catch his
breath from his huge performance on stage. Eric opened the envelope and there were 15 twenty dollar bills.
This is no random act of kindness to Andrew. From what I hear he does things like this all the time!
Tom Hanks might be the nicest guy in Hollywood, but Andrew just might the nicest guy in rock n' roll.
And no one can take that away.

That he is a nice dude and if you are feeling down and out just go to Andrew's twitter (@AndrewWK) where he
renders positive quotes that will help you through the day. "There's no such thing as a
"Fan of Andrew W.K." There are only "FRIENDS of Andrew W.K.". I don't have fans, I have friends."
Andrew twitters party tips for you to take and do what you want with. Here is a list of some of his
"Party Tips" that can be found on his Twitter.

-The only real failure in life is not following your heart. That and not partying.
-Somewhere in the world, something awesome is happening, and that's reason enough to PARTY RIGHT NOW!
-Call your friend and tell them I said hi!
-Music is what feelings sound like.
-Give somebody a high-five, even if it's yourself!
-Think about what you love. Forget about what you hate.

As of late Andrew is what is known as a jack-of-all-trades. He's a motivational speaker. He is a philosopher,
where he has done lectures at Yale, NYU, and more. He has his own TV reality game show called "Destroy
Build Destroy" on Cartoon Network, produced Lee "Scratch" Perry's album "Repentance" who created
raggae and dub. He also owns a nightclub in downtown Manhatten called Santo's Party House which is where
he and his wife Cherie Lily who is a houserobics dance instructor got married. And now you can find this modern
day renaissance man headlining this summer's Van's Warped Tour.

It makes perfect sense that WK will be headlining this tour, because who better else can end the night with the biggest party! Andrew WK himself invites you to come out to The Showgrounds at Sam Houston Race Park and party as if you
are celebrating the time you got an A on your report card, your first kiss, the first time you ate pizza while skateboarding, the first time you heard rockn'roll, the first time you broke a bone in your body, and the time that your parents went out of town and you had that big party all at the same time! In words of Andrew WK, "All truth in one word: PARTY. All philosophy in two words: PARTY HARD. All wisdom in three words: PARTY EVEN HARDER.

Jacob: I hear you are headlining this year's Warped Tour. What will you do in order to
take upon the responsibilty to end each night with the ultimate party.

Andrew: We've done Warped Tour before in 2003. It was a huge expeprience and a life changing experience. Warped Tour provided a very unique atmosphere and to be coming back into that with 7 yrs of experience in entertainment I am more excited and more pumped to blow the roof off the place in every way. The best part what I
learned the first time I did Warped Tour was hanging out in the crowd. It was the most fun besides playing the actual show. You get to entertact and hangout with people. Warped Tour is so loving. Such a good vibe in the air. As if it were made for Andrew WK. We built this huge circus tent. The first Warped Tour we were selling
our t-shirts in 6x6 foot booth. Now we have a 40x20 foot circus tent that we're setting up to be the party house where people can hangout with me if they want. That to me is what it's about, making yourself available. To party with people.

Jacob: So as you say it will be the party house, will this circus tent be a portable Santo's Party House?

Andrew: I am very inspired by the New York night club with Santo's Party House in New York City. Santo's is a nightclub so it is very dark with lights. Warped Tour will be during the day so it will have a daytime vibe like barbuqueing.
I'm not sure if you could isolate music inside the tent due to all the stages playing. It would be like a cacophony of laughter, shouting, sound, and music. so we'll just let that be our soundtrack.

Jacob: You've conducted an experiment about people drinking your vomit for $500. How would one go about drinking the ultimate party energizer drink? Is this taking place during Warped Tour?

Andrew: Right now we are in research stage with this. The responses are overwhelming. My manager has been getting emails everyday from people that want to do it. Having people step up and say they are willing to do this is great so the next step is to make sure that this is safe and that no one can not get sick from this. Make sure you can not get infections with this and that people can not truely risk their health by doing this. Then the next step is to find these people that will really go through with this. To be excited and say you want to do this is one thing, but are they really going to go through with this. It takes a certain person
to do this so we have to screen the potential candidates. I think it's going to take some time. It is going to happen and it is going to be very very intense.

Jacob: Well hey man, you can count me in!

Andrew: Yeah it'd be huge for you, but you've done stuff I'm sure that is more intense than this. It's going to be an intimate thing. Puke is the worst one well...besides shit. Would you rather eat someone's feces or vomit?

Jacob: Probably vomit. Hands down.

Andrew: Still it's unbelievably terrible. It's so interesting that it smells so bad. I think it's the body's way of saying don't eat this. But for some reason dogs did not inherate this evolutionary trait to not eat puke and feces. They just love it! They can't get enough of it! They do it with such enthusiasm it's as if it's a rare
treat. They eat their own! There's this amazing idea. You can feed a dog one time and it will just recycle it over and over again! And if people still want to go through this then it will be a an unforgetable life experience that's for sure.

Jacob: I understand that you are the Party King, but how do you find time to do SXSW,
your TV show along with other tv appearances such as hosting the metal awards
on VH1, operate Santo's Party House, motivational speaker, spend time with your wife Cherie Lily, and now every single date on Warped Tour. Do you ever stop and say "Whoa, I need to sit down!"

Andrew: Well you would be aware of this because you have pushed yourself to a very unusual life. Once you've pushed passed your limitations you expand your capacity to do more. If someone ten years ago told me what I'd be doing now I'd pass out. Not because I wouldn't be excited about all the adventures, but the work load is
impossible. Of course over ten years you build your capacity like an athlete to lift a certain weight or run a faster speed. That is the great thing about human beings because we can increase our abilities.

Jacob: Warped Tour will be the first tour for your full band. Will this add to the party since you have not performed with a full backing band in 5 years? Why now?

Andrew: We we're holding off on a tour as a full band till we had a brand new album. When the opportunity came it seemed like destiny. We had to jump on it while it was there. We've played SXSW, NY, upstate NY, and LA. The full band is ready.
Better than we've ever been. All the experience with me performing by myself, tv, lecturing, motivational speaking, and everything else that I have done. It has all made me better to perform better with the band. I appreciate it more. I really value these guys. If it wasn't for this band a lot of this would not have happened the way it has.

Jacob: From my understanding "55 Cadillac" is an improved recorded record? Could this possibly be the ultimate party cd?

Andrew: I really like the feeling of the unknown. When I play something and make it up as I go along I don't know what's going to happen next as much as the person listening. Even when I listen back it's like hearing it for the first
time. There are sacrifices. I definately could do more impressive things if I sit down and work on it for many many, but there is something scary and filling about jumping off that cliff and saying "I'm going to play what ever I'm going to play weather it's good or bad."

Jacob: If one were to find you roaming your home streets of NY on your day off of partying and decided to follow you around for the day what wouldthey see you be doing?

Andrew: I love walking around New York. I'll walk around Time Square or stand on a corner and watch people. There are a row of restaurants on 8th Avenue. Hit up all the
restaurants. You dont even have to eat a full meal. Just one from each. You
can get one Castle burger, one slice of pizza, one hot dog, one biscuit, one cookie, one taco. You can really enjoy that.

Jacob: Your "Party Tips" on Twitter are pretty much a nail to the head. In other words, well said. Tell me about these "Party Tips" and how could one take these tips and use them towards their advantage.

Andrew: I wouldn't be able to be one on one with these people in person. There's no way I could travel across the world to Japan or to Germany in ten minutes. So the ability to enteract and to party all around the world all the time I feel that this was made for me. And Twitter is an amazing example for that. To me it was designed for partying. It was designed for Andrew WK. My hope is that someone sees something on there that gets them some kind of charge for the day. Something that gives them something to think about or to take them some place or takes them away from someplace where they do not want to be. I just hope that I can give something that they can think about. Even if they don't agree with them. Maybe they can get a new point of view from it. I like that feeling that we are going through something together. It's me and a group of friends and we are living life together.

Jacob: Do you ever listen to your music and wish you could be The Party King, but then you realize "Wait a sec! I am Andrew WK! I am The Party King!".

Andrew: I am very grateful and very amazed that I get to do this. I feel that this is something that I am doing and not nessessarily something that I am. I dont think of it as a character, a job, or idea. I think of it as something that I was meant to do. I think about where I came from and what could have happened in life and I ended up doing this. Your inspiration, motivation, and continue to push and I dont want to ever lose that.

Jacob: People enjoy having themed parties. Dead celebrities, the egos of Lady Gaga, or even the old fashion Superhero themed party. If you were to have your own theme
party would would it be?

Andrew: I would like to have a theme party where everybody has to present their selves in a stlye of clothes where they would least imagine otherwise. You'd have to go against your taste or your personal style and do the opposite of it or some extreme variation of it. Be honest and do it earnestly. Don't dress up as a doctor or a 50's person or some other decade. Identify a fashion senseibility that you specifically have not liked or a stlye that you swore that you would never wear and do it.

Jacob:In your two songs "Party Hard" and "Long Live the Party" you shout out the
word "party" more than 30 times in each song. That's pretty excessive. Right
now how many times can you say the word "party" in one sentence?

Andrew:To say the word "party" alot of times in a sentence like party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party; you could do it just repeating the word party over and over, but to say the word with out saying any other word in a sentence, or explaining about a party, what a party is, or why you should party, or why you should say the word party would seem like cheating, so i would want the the word party be used in some kind of actual sentence with other words and ideas and it doesnt even have to about a party, but i would want it to something like that.
I was trying to make one run-on sentence, but I'm sure there were some periods in there.

www.andrewwk.com
www.twitter.com/andrewwk

Andrew WK is going to make you go wild at Warped Tour all summer long!

Busted.

2010-06-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

Little Miss Mary sat in a bush reading her diary.
When in all it twas her pictorial biography of her doing pornography
in a magazine for the world to see.

Tim Walker

2010-06-25T11:41:00.001-07:00

I often get asked, "What is your blog about?" To answer that, I do not know. I have an interview with a model and before that I did an interview with an air guitarist.
So to answer your question, these are things that I enjoy. Here is Tim Walker.

Tegan and Sara interview

2010-06-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

So I've tried re-uploading the (1of2) part. I've tried re-filing it. Converting, compressing it, and I dunno. Youtube seems to reject it every time. I'll figure it out
someday and I'll delete this here blog post and put them together as one. But for now
here is 1/2 of the Tegan and Sara interview. Thanks- Jacob

www.teganandsara.com

The frog raper

2010-06-22T07:45:00.000-07:00

A chimpanzee (Pan troglodytes)from the Honolulu Zoo in Hawaii seems to have found a new toy in the shape of a pussy pocket. This toy though, it's alive. It' a damn Marine toad (Bufo marinus)! There are no amphibians that are indigenous to this very remote island due to the salt water that separates the archipelago islands from main land. So whoever introduced this specie over on to Hawaii had no idea that one of these frog's relatives in the future would be giving an ape a blow job. As you see in the video the relatively strong chimp pryed open the frog's mouth like a can of beans and BLOP! In goes the penis and on with the donkey show...hehum...excuse me I mean frog show. We've all seen the video of the monkey picking it's anus, smelling it's fingers, and falling over the tree. We've seen the video of the male monkey mate with his female and the baby chimp come behind for a little threesome and tap the male's scrotum while in play. These things happen. And it's going to happen forever and on. Just imagine what was not captured. Remember that one video of that one ape that used that snake as anal beads? No? Yeh, because it wasn't recorded. But I can safely bet that it has happened. So for all you safari peeps! Whip out your camera and keep it rolling because who knows what you may find next!

One night in Andy('s) Dick

2010-06-20T02:11:00.000-07:00

Comedian film maker Andy Dick has made quite the name for himself. Even though he
had a few run ins with the law the guy is not that bad. Andy borrowed his bud Chris'
mansion to host a charity party for PETA. With well over a couple hundred people at $10
a pop Andy is donating it to the extreme animal rights group.

Andy Dick hosted his party online through his account on UStream. The camera was set up in one room where online seekers could be apart of Andy Dick's party without dishing out the ten bucks for PETA. So grab a beer, have a seat, and enjoy the party.

Andy Dick had various guests come into the room for interviews and chit chats. The most memorable one of these guest was Christopher Dennis who once impersonated Superman at the Grauman's Chinese theater. Dennis is the star of the documentary "The Confessions of a Superhero". Other than Dennis there were a bunch of odd balls that rapped, played guitar, had a chopped off finger, and girl named Helena Reznor who claims that she is cousins to Trent of NIN. As Andy Dick said before the party started this was a social experiment and point taken it was Helena's first time to be on XTC. So while viewers from all over the world got to kick back and peek into the glam of a Hollywood party Andy had the responsibility of making sure that Miss Reznor was okay. Sarah Silverman was supposedly to appear at the party, but she never showed up. Damn.

As the party started to heat up Andy was destined to have some girls show their breasts on his online show to increase viewers. Andy had one of his friends go find some females to show their breast due to the Dude Storm that was being created in his "party room".

Andy then asked politely if he could lick a girl's nipple. With his lawyer at his side for anything that could go awry Andy behaved himself well and insisted that his new lady friend gave him full permission due to him groping a man's genitalia through his pants in Georgia at a club which caused him to have a felony. So this time with full permission Andy went to town on those puppies.

It felt as if Andy was making his own sex tape right there online for millions to watch! Soon after at 2:30am or so police started to raid the party scene. Helicopters hovered the mansion swaying their flood lights through the windows. While police were shutting down the party Andy tried to get one of his friends to bring a police into the room to be interviewed for the online video. Just as a door opens people clear the room and you can hear a police woman's voice. "Oh no it's the cops!" The gig was up. The party was over. Andy's social experiment is over.

The video is dead. I waited for the video to pop back up for it could have been a
technical difficulty, but it wasn't. Andy's voyeuristic show was over. We watched a girl roll on X. Met Andy's first room mate when he moved to Los Angeles. Had Andy answer my questions through an online Q and A, and got to watch him suck on some tits while meeting his son Lucas. Way to go Andy. Thanks for the invite and I had the opportunity of doing all of this in the comforts of my own bed!

www.andydick.com
www.twitter.com/andydick

The making of a video: Valentino by Diane Birch

2010-05-28T08:25:00.000-07:00

Music videos have came a long ways since those Phil Collin videos where Phil is sitting in a dark and lonely room where there is a small desk lamp pointing in his direction. Today music videos seem to have more originality and creativity. Dennis Liu would be one of the innovators that is straying away from the word "cliche". Dennis Liu directed Diane Birch's music video to her latest single "Valentino". Like many of Patrick Daughter's music videos for Feist this video too is shot in one take. "Valentino" was shot 62 times, but as you see in the video shoot number 57 was the keeper. "It’s easy to cut and edit but it’s not easy to hit your marks. That’s the beauty of one take.”, says Diane Birch. Diane Birch grew up like an army brat moving all over the world. Once she landed back in America she began to play piano. She now S-Curve Records where she travels again all over the world singing her little piano out.

"Valentino"

The making of "Valentino"

ATTN READERS: I APOLOGIZE FOR THE VIDEO BEING CUT OFF. TO VIEW THE VIDEO TO IT'S MAXIMUM POTENTIAL CLICK ON IT SO IT WILL TAKE YOU TO YOUTUBE.

myspace.com/dianebirch
dianebirch.com

"I'm Craig motherfuckin' Robinson!"- Craig Robinson

2010-05-24T10:30:00.000-07:00

Craig Robinson performed at The Improv and I'm using the word "performed" very loosely. Craig Robinson does stand up? I had no idea what to expect, but on the other hand it was EXACTLY what I expected. Craig didn't tell a damn comedic bit.
He had a keyboard on stage and he sang songs from Billie Joel to "The Birthday Song". He is not a comedian, but he kept all 200 plus people inside that club that night on the edge of their seat laughing hysterically.

Craig Robinson is "that guy" that interrupts a party by half ass playing bits and pieces of every rock anthem he knows. The crowd sang along until he would play another song and the crowd would applause and sing again. With each song he would some times extrapolate each song. "This is what the bride gets to walk to when she's getting married!". And he would play "The Wedding March". "And for you guys! We get nothing! This is how it should be!" He would then begin to play the soundtrack to the movie "Rockie". He explained how "The Wedding March" has the same chord progression as "The Funeral March". He would play the two and surprisingly enough they sounded quite the same. Coincidence for the groom?

Craig throwing the first pitch early that day at Minute Maid Park. Reg Mackworthy anybody?

Shot after shot after shot after shot his performance turned into "Hey you! Wanna take a picture with me! Get up here on stage!" Very intoxicated, the show was extended to an additional 45 minutes. Craig would incorporate the words "Take your panties off" into each of his songs and finally a woman threw her panties on stage. He immediately stops playing his music and shoves the used panties inside his mouth! He also dropped his pants to his knees and air-fucked a woman for a picture. So once it was time for my interview Shawn and I were escorted to backstage where we were highly entertained by Craig's drunken behavior. I could only imagine how it is to work with this man. His comedy did not end once he stepped off stage. He does not stop! He's just a genuinely funny guy to hangout with!

My interview is not what you would say is a legit interview and the least bit of professional. I had only two questions for him. I decided to not edit this video interview, because the more I watched it the more I thought it was hilarious. If I edited it then I would be hiding who Craig really is.

Craig Robinson is lending his voice to the final chapter of Shrek: Forever After as Cookie. Be sure to see it in theaters.

Major thanks to all the staff at The Improv. Isaac, Raymond, Shaggy, and others thanks for your hospitality! PREESH!

www.improv.com

My "interview"

Craig signing a hilarious autograph.

Beach Party!!!!!!!!! June 12th!!!!

2010-05-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Blood is the new Black

2010-05-01T04:20:00.000-07:00

Jacob: You were told the cliche phrase "You will never work in this town again" and then you went out and opened up Blood is the new Black. Was there ever a moment in time where you doubted yourself on the success of your new line?

Mitra: No. Sometimes I am shocked at the success of our line but never doubted that we'd make it. A lot of people start clothing companies with great intentions, not all experience growth year after year, I think we are definitely one of the lucky ones. Of course there are times when you worry about how you are going to take it to the next level but I think all that stuff happens on its own timeline and I just have to roll with the natural cycle of things.

J: Starting from scratch is somewhat tough so how'd you gather your first collection?

M: I asked two of my close friends to help, Keren Richter and Andrea Shear were our first artists and they're both people I've known for ages. I was lucky that I had experience in the fashion industry before starting the line so the learning curve was diminished just a little bit.

J: I know that Keren Richter has been with the line for a while so how'd you meet her?

M: We met our freshman year of college. She was at NYU, I was at Parsons. I think she was wearing crazy 80's glasses and I had a mullet.

J: It sure has grown since then. Now I can walk around here and Houston and I see girls and boys wearing your clothing. You living in LA I'm sure you run into people wearing your clothes often right?

M: All the time! Sometime I roll down the window and scream about liking their shirt from across the street. They think I'm a creep but it's still exciting!

J: Tegan and Sara seem to be a fan of BITNB as well. So tell how did that start to work out?

M: They started buying our tees off our site. We've never been the type of brand to sent merch out to bands or celebrities hoping they'd wear it, the majority of the press and celeb support we've received has been out of the blue.

J: Your artist roster right now is looking quite impressive. To name a few Texas' very own Michael Sieben, New York's Keren Richter, and even Sophie Stephens from the UK has grabbing a nice name for herself. How did you compile such a great team?

M: By asking. When I see someone's work that I like I don't hesitate to hit them up. We've also had some of our artists come into our family by hitting me up as well. Goes both ways.

J: I love the name Blood is the new Black. Before you came up with it were there any other names on the drawing board?

M: Nope. I had the name before I had a concept for the line.

J: I guess this should have been one of the first questions, but fuck it. When did you decide to dive into fashion and what were you doing at the time?

M: I decided to dive into fashion when I was 9 years old. I was in the 4th grade and playing to my pet hamster at the time.

J: BITNB is a graphic tee line, but do you suppose there will be any scarves and etc in the future?

M: We also have included wallets and reusable grocery shopping bags from Baggu in the line. We may expand the product mix a bit, but we are always going to stick to tees first and foremost.

J: When you are not coming up with the next great idea for the company what do you do on your spare time.

M: I go to art galleries, flea markets, check out bands...I like cooking so I hit up farmers markets and stuff like that too. I'm pretty low key and not all that exciting outside of work really.

J: What kind of music are you into?

M: Americana, classic country, and garage rock.

J: What's next for BITNB?

M: Loads, we're starting a few new projects that focusing on our community...can't tell you much more than that, but it's going to be nothing short of AWESOME!

Wanna pick up a shirt here in Houston? You can pick them up at:
EDIN (Across the street from Brasil's)
2605 DUNLAVY, HOUSTON, TX 77006 USA
713.861.6992

www.bloodisthenewblack.com

America's Next Top Winner Prediction with Raina Hein

2010-04-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

The girl's got personality. And with a lil bit of some good looks she's got this kite trick in the bag. The judges seem to love her and so does America. She's more than just a model with looks. She's funny, she's fun, she's an endearing animal lover, and quite the athlete. So in the red corner she stands at 5'11 at 130 pounds! Choice of weapon: green eyes. If you stare at them for too long you will get lost so be fooled or be dead. She's one helluva knock out! DING! DING! DING!

Jacob: So your friends bombarded you to sign up for the show and now you get a big "Told you so." Many people remember exactly what they were doing when 9/11 occurred. Where and what were you doing when you received the phone call that you would be on America's Next Top Model cycle 14?

Raina: I was driving on the highway (which by the way isn’t the safest way to receive intensely joyous information).

J: By the way, what were you doing on the morning of 9/11?

R: I had school off that day for some reason. But, I clearly remember turning on the TV to watch some good ol' cartoons and saw nothing but disastrous disasters.

J: So for the first competition on the show it was a nude photo shoot. You and all the girls had to race to the manikin to grab an article of clothing to model. Poor you were in the back of the running muck and ended up with a damn ring! A little ring for your finger. Even though you may have gotten the short end of the stick for covering yourself up, you flaunted your body quite well. You did an excellent job. Do you believe for this being the first photo shoot it could increase your self confidence and make the other shoots a cinch?

R: Well, I've definitely never had to do something like this before, and never ever thought I would be putting my goodies on display for the entire world. I remember staring at that manikin thinking, “grab the shorts, scarf, jacket, or dress and you will be fine”. NOPE. RING. It was a challenge. I had to psych myself out of it and pretend no one in the room was watching...right. Well, I tried. And it was scary. To be honest, having my right boob completely out in the picture that Tyra picked wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. But the panel liked it, and that’s all that really mattered. So, after a paragraph of going on and on I will answer your question. Yes, it did increase my self confidence.
J: You've played volleyball for some time and from what I read you are quite the player. In the game one tends to fall down. In modeling every now and then a model will fall on the runway. When do you suppose you are going to pull an Agyness Deyn and fall on the runway?

R: Oh my lanta, I’m sure it'll happen more than once. It hasn’t happened to me yet, but when it does, I’ll be expecting it. And maybe I’ll do something like a “tuck and roll” so it looks like I meant to do it. Yea, I’ll be the first model to that. Don’t steal my ideas.

J: Hahaha classic! sports/model announcer #1, "And here comes Raina Hein. She's wearing Herchcovitch-OH! Her "tuck-and-roll-granny-dive" I don't get it! The audience loves it!" S/M announcer #2, "That is Raina's signature walk and does it quite well."...Okay anyways...I find it very interesting that you and I have the same career path with the communications and animals (besides the modeling). You are going to school for a communications degree, yes? And your second choice is zoology which is my 2nd major. Do you ever plan on going into zoology and if so how would you like to combine the two career paths together?

R: Well aren’t we just two peas in the same pod! Yes, I originally went to school for volleyball (very bad idea) and wanted to major in zoology. I ended up missing a lot of labs because I was traveling to different states all the time to play volleyball. So, I switched my major to communications. I would love to be a reporter, host, or anchor someday. I like to make things interesting and keep people on their toes. On the other hand, I do love zoology. I think that working with exotic animals would keep me on my toes. BUT, modeling is my #1 career. If I had enough time to do all three, I would. Life is a crazy journey. Stay tuned.

J: Your favorite animals are all from the same genus Panthera. What is it about the roaring cats that you adore?

R: Great question. They are sly, quick, majestic, confident, and very athletic, which are all great characteristics. Plus, they can jump up to seven times their length. Just imagine if YOU could do that.

J: Oh, but I can...So any other animals that you appreciate?

R: I really like jellyfish. They are just so squishy and weird! Have you ever heard of the cuddlefish? Look it up. If unicorns were real, I’d definitely pick those, but they’re not. Sorry if I just burst your bubble.

J: ZANG! The cuddlefish is my favorite cephalopod! Favorite sea creature for that matter. Okay, so you are a zoologist/personality for a show on Animal Planet. One squirts by you and boom! The camera is rolling! Lets just pretend you could talk under water. What would you have to say about this lovely fellow for your TV show?

R: You are by far my most favorite interviewer/reporter EVER. Alright, to answer your question. "CHECK IT OUT! This right here is a Cuddlefish, which research has recently shown to be one of the most intelligent invertebras on our planet. It's quite similar to a chameleon in that it can camouflage itself against ANYTHING! These remarkable creatures can alter their light polarity, and change their skin color to save themselves from the evil creatures of the sea, as well as blend into their surroundings in order to (SURPRISE ATTACK) grab an easy lunch without scaring their first course away! See those squiggly lines on their face?! Believe it or not, those are their eyes. Their eyes are among the most developed of the animal kingdom. Their eyes are actually fully developed before they are even born and they start observing things around them before they even bust out of the egg! Crazy right? So, if you go swimming, that egg you see might be watching you!!! They are pretty harmless though, unless you're a crab...then you're in trouble." That's what I would say…

J: Well thank you very much! You're quite the gal yourself! So what's it like being on a show with cameras on you 24/7? You're living with a lot of girls with different life styles. It's gotta be hectic right?

R: I’m not too sure if hectic would be the correct word. I would have to say that total and utter chaos would fit more appropriately. It was definitely stressful, but to be honest, I learned a lot about myself. Also, being on a college volleyball team is very similar. I practiced, ate, lived, traveled, drove, partied, went to class, and hung out with the same 13 girls every day. So, perhaps I was more prepared.

J: Any girls on the show that you have become good friends with? Besides yourself who are you rooting for?

R: I've become great friends with Brenda. I also really love Simone. They are both very sweet girls. And they aren’t just sweet, they are very genuine people. So, to answer the next question, I would have to say that I would be rooting for them.

J: Yeh, Brenda is our home town hero. She's got my second vote. ANTM seems to love these Houston girls eh? So do you guys ever contact previous gals from the show for tips? If so any gal that you'd like to call and what would you have asked her?

R: I haven't really contacted any previous girls on ANTM. I wanted to stay myself. If I got any "tips" or "advice", it may have changed how I was or what I did. I just want to be me, and learn it all along the way.

J: I read quite a few blogs and comments about you and the girls on ANTM and it seems like you are the most favored. So what are you going to do to keep yourself in the competition so that we can see you on tv every week?

R: I don’t let the drama get to me. I don’t let the girls who are mean and love to fight take me down. I know who I am and I know why I’m here. I’m not here to get in a hate-fest, I’m here to win. I’m too strong, too motivated, and too determined to let the mean girls bother me. I also believe that I take criticism very well. If you don’t do something wrong and you aren’t critiqued, you’ll never improve. So, I’m always hoping for something negative (in a way).

J: I looked at your model mayhem page and it seems that you have had some experience. How long have you been modeling and when did you have the slightest idea that this is what you wanted to do?

R: I have been modeling for almost three years now. I’ve mostly done a lot of tests with different photographers to build up my book/portfolio. Ever since I was a little kid, I was kind of a camera hog. I loved to make crazy faces and model-esque poses in front of any camera that came my way. I didn’t really decide it’s what I wanted to do until my dad took my senior pictures one day for the yearbook in high school. I was thinking, “I can so totally rock this!”

J: So in the day of Miss Raina, what would one see you do?

R: Well it really depends. Weekend? Week day? Holiday? Let’s see here. I am in my very last semester of college at Concordea University St. Paul MN. (YAY LAST SEMESTER WOOOHOOO) where I’m taking acting class, photography class, women’s health, minority groups, and sociology (I’ve already taken every Communication course they offer). I go running almost every day (sometimes yoga). I love to cook, so I usually put my chef hat on and create something magical in the kitchen for dindin. And in-between it all, I’m usually doing interviews like this one, texting or talking to friends, or hangin’ out with my family. I like to be random, so I never really know what my day will consist of until it’s already over. I’m one of those people who are like, “Hey! Let’s go to Target and see what cool new toys they have that we can play with in the store!” This is a difficult question to answer.

J: In some of your photos I see some Molly Burnett (Days of our Lives) in you. Please don't ask why I know the cast members to this show. heh. So what celebrity would you say that you see in yourself and why?

R: I bet you watch Gossip Girl too. ;)

J: Now that I think about it...you look nothing like this Molly character. I guess it was a moment. I work at a vet. It comes on in the waiting room on tv. And for your information I watch East Bound & Down!

R: Well, I’ve been told that I look very similar to Denise Richards and Brooke Shields. But if I were to compare myself to a celebrity, maybe Mandy Moore? She is very kind and genuine. I consider myself the same. Also, Jim Carey is a pretty random dude. Even though he is of the male species and I am not, I think we share some of those same characteristics..

J: So I'm sure now that your face is on television the guys in your town are knocking on your window, yes? I'm sure the getting hit on has gotten more petulant than before right? Any creeper stories?

R: Well actually, people are more intimidated of me now. So, a lot of people just stare, whisper, and sometimes giggle instead of just coming up to me and talking to me! I get stared at a lot. But I guess that's what happens...right? Anyway, yeah I've gotten a couple messages that say, "Raina I am in love with you" or "Will you be my girlfriend some day"? Otherwise, nothing too bad. I've been blessed with a very sharp creepo-dar which allows me to steer clear of those kind of situations.

J: Alrighty lady! That about wraps everything up. Again, thank you for the chit chat. Is there anything else that you want to add and let the world know that I may have left out?

R: Twas my pleasure! I don’t really have anything else to add. We should totally start our own corporation where we interview animals, or something. Thanks!!!

J: Already happening. Show just got syndicated. Our first interview is a hyrax. Good luck on the rest of the show! You'll do well.

ALE YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-04-08T18:55:00.001-07:00

So a few weeks ago I presented you the Sparks Red. It's out there, but VERY hard to find. It tasted as if you didn't put enough sugar in your Kool Aide. Well ladies and gentlemen, Sparks Lemon St!NGER!

So I'm jammin in my room listening to rap music. While I nodded, nearly rapping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently tapping, tapping at my chamber door. Only this, and something more.' I opened my door and there at my door was my dear friend and a box at her feet. "It's here!", I shouted! My lil case of Sparks Lemon Stinger! I tore the box open while the cans were a'shakin' inside. I grabbed the first can I saw and opened it while foam volcanoed out of the opening. I should have fridged it up, but I couldn't wait. I didn't care. .......Okay... I'm going to stop writing this like I'm writing a friggin book and proceed with my review....

It's a fantastic drink! Why did they decide to produce it now? I have no idea!?!
Why do they choose not to sale it nation wide? Again, I have no idea!?!
Sparks only brings in 0.5% of sales to the Miller Brewing Co so I can completely understand why they don't make sucha large investment in this lusty drink.
I'm going to drink my cans slowly and carefully. Who knows when I'll get another case in. This tastes just as good or better than the Sparks Orange. Imagine an Extreme Mike's Hard Lemonade. Once this drink goes out nation wide Mike will end up selling his shit in a dixie cup for a nickel at the end of his driveway to make ends meet. I am super stoked on this taste. The taste of lemon flourishes my tastebuds but for some reason the taste of Sparks Orange hits the back of my tongue strongly.
Great drink. I'd tell you to drink it but ya can't! So for now I'll tell ya to pretend it.

Here We Go Magic: Tuesday 13 of April @ Walter's

2010-04-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

Here We Go Magic feels like you're being dipped while dancing and never coming back up. The band creates a cluster of these aesthetic sounds that can only be described as something that can be heard when you die. And we are just luckily enough to be able to hear it while we're alive.

myspace.com/herewegomagic

Partying with Andrew WK

2010-03-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

It doesn't matter who you are. If you are the kid at school getting beat up or the one doing the beating up. You are there as friends and for one reason, to party with Andrew WK. The show was a packed house. Andrew ran through all of his hits from "Get Wet" to his latest record that was just recently released in US that was originally released in Japan called "Close Walls With Brick Walls". Just imagine over 100 little tornadoes moving along with the storm, Hurricane Andrew. It was a mad house. I lost my damn head band and had to tie my shoes a kajillion times. Everyone had there chance of getting on stage and sing along with Andrew. My brother too was on stage while Andrew directed the mic towards Chris' mouth. Chris sang the chorus to "Party till you Puke" and stage dived back into the storm. Instead of shouting out the words "I love New York City" he switched the lyrics to "I love Austin, TX". This brought many hi-5s in the air along with the spilt beer. I can't recall what the last song was but it did ensure a broken stage. Fifty partiers climbed on stage as I lifted Andrew on my shoulders. It was an amazing first night for Andrew WK and his full band that hasn't performed in over 5 years. The stage collapsed. The party kept in motion. The eye of the storm was now at Andrew's piano as we surrounded him to keep the show alive so that his piano wouldn't get knocked over. The show was over. The storm has passed. We all survive.

Don't Stop Living In The Red!

2010-03-19T16:11:00.000-07:00

Losing my head band at the Andrew WK show the next day I had to go buy a new one.
Traveling around Austin looking for potential stores that would carry head gear I
swung by a Shell gas station to fill up and to buy Sparks...And there it was. It
had a golden realm. When I opened the freezer door angels sung. I just found Sparks
RED.

Sparks was once a caffeinated drink that was forced by the FDA to take the caffeine out because it was being marketed to under aged kids. At the same time Steel Reserve was about to release Sparks RED which has 8%. (Orange Sparks:6% - Black Sparks: 7%)
Sparks once had another Sparks Light (Blue) but it didn't last too long. The FDA did not approve of this 8% caffeinated red drink so it was put back on the shelves...literally. Long story short, caffeine is out of Sparks and the RED is in!

Where to find this RED Sparks is still beyond me. It's like finding the Loch Ness Monster! It's such a rare find that you will most likely see Pantera get back together for a reunion with Dime Bag Darrel before you can find this drink. So it was a special moment for me. So special that it was worth doing a mass text. I bought as much as they had.

The taste is alright. Not THE best, but still a-okay in my book. I came down to two examples. If this taste had a sound it would sound like if you had your stereo speakers in the back of your car trunk turned to volume 10. The trunk is slammed shut. You know there is some powerful shit going on in there but you just aren't getting it 100%. After my bud Jason and I took more sips to figure this thing out we bottled it down to this. You are 5 years old. You really want some Kool Aide. Mom is on the phone and tells you to hold on. You say fuck it. You get your little stepping stool and make it yourself. It doesn't taste like moms. It's kinda weird. There just wasn't enough sugar in it. And that is EXACTLY how it tastes like! Not enough sugar in your Kool Aide! Usually I drink my Sparks where ever I go but Jason saw people getting PIs by police for having open containers so I put it in a Jack In The Box cup. The foam was hella thick and would not sizzle down to liquid. It's as if I just made a cappuccino using Sparks. The color of it is a magenta like red. Very cool.

All in all it was alright. Not bad not great but standable. I would drink this over a beer any day. Having that I hate the taste of beer but tend to drink one with friends so that my hands will have something to do. Sparks RED is a good I'm-going-to-get-fucked-up-on-the-orange-drinks-and-then-drink-the-red-ones-after-to-stay-fucked-up kinda drink. I give it 3 stars out of 5.

There is a lemonade Sparks out there someone. My bud sees them in West Virginia. Perhaps I'll have him mail me some and I'll review that too!

Where I found this RED Sparks: On Guadalupe and 21st at a Shell gas station.

The infamous Vice Party

2010-03-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

If you can feel, see, touch, hear, and taste a party then you are making perfect sense!
www.vicesavestexas.com

SXSW: REDBULL PARTY!

2010-03-11T15:00:00.000-08:00

WHICH ALL-STAR DJ WILL BRING DOWN THE HOUSE DOWN IN AUSTIN?

Red Bull Thre3style challenges DJs to create a party set containing three different musical genres. Their job is simple. Rock the house!

Red Bull Thre3style Austin features an EPIC TURNTABLE LINEUP:

• Z-TRIP
• DJ JAZZY JEFF
• CUT CHEMIST
• J.ROCC
• DJ KLEVER
• DJ SPIDER

Austin's own DJ Manny will get the party started.

Host:
Mad Skillz

Visuals:
VJ Culture

Saturday March 20

Austin Warehouse District
Parking lot at 4th and Colorado Streets
Gates open at 8 p.m.

NO COVER - All AGES

I've been to their parties and they are quite the catch!
"I've a got a red bull and vodka up in my hand!"
The first time I went was with the band Moneen. Free alcohol. Lets
just say that one of the boys in the band can't handle their freebies
well. hahaha Well I guess neither could you if you downed a gallon.

RSVP @ FADER FORT!!!!!!!! HERE!

2010-03-10T13:14:00.000-08:00

http://apps.thefader.com/pages/rsvp/levi-s-fader-fort-2010
RSVP HERE!

CARNIVILLE! : Another SXSW PARTY UPDATE

2010-03-09T11:24:00.000-08:00

Till SXSW I will be posting some must-go-to parties. I've been to an I Heart Comix jam during SXSW and it was by far the most amazing. So this should definately be on your top priority. I have a feeling this will have the same feel as the Dim Mak party I went to a few years ago with the circus games and mechanical bull.

http://austincarniville.com/

SXWK! PARTY WITH ANDREW WK!

2010-03-08T18:34:00.001-08:00

Andrew WK's schedule
Wednesday March 14th - Buffalo Billiards - 201 East 6th Street @ 12:05am
Friday March 19th - THE CO-OP - 707 WEST 21ST ST.@ 3:00am
Saturday March 20th - Buffalo Billiards - 201 East 6th Street @ 4:15pm
Saturday March 20th - MESS WITH TEXAS - HEADLINING

Blood is on the Dance Floor - Sat. 13 March

2010-03-08T07:47:00.001-08:00

Ghost Cat

2010-03-05T17:18:00.000-08:00

Buy my painting. It's done. I need to buy a 1983 Delorean pronto.
ingredients: acrylic, marker, pastel, oil stick, spray paint, medical bandage, house paint, crayon, window curtains. 6 feet long.
(click on photo to enlarge)

Traveler's Guide to SXSW

2010-03-04T13:00:00.000-08:00

Every year I get asked the same question about SXSW. Do I need a badge? And the answer is a no. I've been going to SXSW since like 1998. So from my experience I would like to give you some free advice.

-RSVP for EVERY party that there is. Even if you have no interest in going just sign up for it anyway. The more the better. Why you ask? Because your friends might want to go to that particular show and if you are with a group of friends and they go in to the party and your name isn't on the list because you didn't RSVP then you might be sitting on the curb.

-People who buy badges are always the first in line. At night there are 2 lines that form into these SXSW showcasing shows. People who have badges and the people who do not have badges. The badge holders are the first ones in since they paid the big bucks. Once the badge people trickle out the door man then lets in the non badgers. But then there are some parties that are BADGE ONLY so this is when you go find elsewhere to go.

-Day time shows: A lot of them have food and free alcohol. Take advantage of it. Take a bag pack. Nuff said.

-Join a street team. Record labels have rad night time after parties. Want VIP? Then get on the street team. Help out the label and promote for their events that they've got going on. You scratch their back and they'll scratch yours. Get it?

-Scheduling your weekend. It's fancy to make a large schedule of all the bands you want to see but is it possible? So it's ideal to make a large schedule but highlight the bands that you really want to see or there will be a lot of dissapointment. You may not get into every show due to capacity.

-21 and up dude! It's best to party with friends that are of age to drink alcohol. Sometimes it's a dick move to leave your little friend on the curb while you go rage. Sorry Jessica.

-BRING A BIKE! I can't stress this out enough. I learned this lesson when I was with Death from Above for the weekend and I escaped to go see some shows and I had to meet up with them at Momo's to head to the Vice after party. Running from Emo's to Momo's (near Waterloo Records) was not in my plan for that night. Bringing a bike will save you time and it's fun. Just bring a lock. Not a lock that you could piss through either. A nice U-lock. Ya know?

-Where to park? Parking can sometimes be a bitch. NEVER park on the city side. 1. Because it'll prolly take you an hour to find one and 2. It's a bitch to leave due to all the foot traffic and road blocks. Park on the East side (on the other side of the freeway of 6th St.) Drive up 5 blocks and start searching. I've never had a problem finding a spot out there.

I think that about wraps it up. Enjoy!

Extras:
-Austin Music Hall as free shows. Blur played once. It gets dope. So run over and see what the weekend has to offer.
-Rachel Ray has free food. I'm vegan so I can't eat her foods so I traded my food in for Sparks. It was a win win situation. This is where I first saw The Raveonettes and ZZ Top and Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.
-Dim Mak knows how to thrash it. I saw Swayze perform. Rode a mechanical bull, danced my ass off and ate vegan hotdogs all day with my feet in the pool. This was a great day.
-I Heart Comix had their party in a parking garage one year. Free alcohol. I don't remember too much of this night except for when I fell on my beer bottle and slashed my arm up.
-Filter has their yearly gig at Cedar Street (208 4th St.) Free BBQ for the meat eaters. They bring in great bands. It's always a plesaure to swing on over. Make sure to RSVP! Here I'll be nice. RSVP@FILTERMAGAZINE.COM/SXSW
-FADER FORT- The Drums are playing there. Nuff said. Do your homework and find that RSVP. Harlem will be perfoming too. Love this band. Last year Calle I mean Kanye West performed. He sucked.

My 1st SXSW experience back in 98(?)
I had no idea what SXSW was. I just wanted to see a band called Digger. The day before we left to Austin we learned that At The Drive In was playing a free show at Emo's at 2pm. We saw the show and was wondering why they were playing a free show and why so many people were out on 6th St. Oh well. Not knowing that a music festival was going on we three went to the capital and the walked onto the other side of 35 where we walked more and "looked" around. My mom drove us to Austin and she said if she was to drop us off at 2pm she would not be coming back till later that night to pick us up after Digger. With no cel phones we were quite bored when in fact a festival was just down the street and we were too nieve to know about it. We even walked through the dman thing! Eight hours later we decide that the East side of Austin was ghetto so we trekked it back to 6th St. for Digger. After Digger a band called Dillinger Four performed where the bassist stripped naked and did some obscene things to himself. This is when my step dad came inside the club looking for us because it was time to go. Bad timing on his part...or ours because he saw us front row laughing.

Guiness World Record: BEST BAND IN THE WORLD

2010-03-03T23:01:00.000-08:00

Where do I even start with this Brooklyn band? No words that I could ever write to appraise this band will ever amount to what they are. If this is your first time to know about this band then congratulate yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for finding this blog. They are The Drums.

Interview with Jonathan Pierce (vocals)

Jacob:To my knowledge The Drums have not done any heavy touring in the US, but you guys seem to love Europe. Could this because of the label that is supporting you?

Jonathan: No, we have only done one tour to date, and that was last month in the UK and Europe. We do like Europe a lot, but the reason we toured there first is because things are moving even faster there for The Drums. There is huge excitement for us, so it made sense to tour there. We did some light US mini tours, I guess, but nothing full-blown. That is coming soon.

Jacob: And I see that you guys are selling out at every show over seas! How does it feel to be a new band and to be doing this well at such a fast rate?

Jonathan: It is pretty surreal. I mean, since this band's first show was last May in NYC, we were sorta plunged into the deep end. We feel lucky because we are being received all over the world, and have never once had to compromise anything. We do only what we want to do, really. Only what feels right.

Jacob: Now you guys are performing Austin's very own SXSW will you guys be touring to this parade or will you be flying out because I see just after this you guys are going back to Europe.

Jonathan: No, we have a lot to do in NYC over the next two weeks, so we are flying in. I wish we could drive. I love being on the road in America, it's like being in a movie.

Jacob: Not to get fanboy on ya but you have not been around for very long and just off that record I can say you guys are my favorite band right now. How do you feel that this might be a lot of people's opinion on your band right now.

Jonathan: Well thanks. That's very nice of you to say. If we are a lot of peoples favorite band, well, I think that's really nice, but you should check out The Smith Westerns. Those guys are cool.

Jacob: When I listen to your record I hear The Cure, Joy Division, and The Smiths. These were bands that were formed when we were just lads and now it's 2010 and your band has decided to pick up that style and rejuvenate that sound. Do you suppose this is why the media is creating all the hype that you guys well deserve?

Jonathan: Maybe... But I think it's more about a band finally not caring about production or even genre really and just focusing on The Song again. Everyone forgot about The Song and we are doing our best to bring it back. Simple and classic. I think what happens is everyone who starts a band these days tries to be really edgy and hip and new and weird, and we are actually anti-edgy. We rely on classic songwriting and classic melodies and classic subject matter. Tried, true, and pure.

Jacob: So this is your first SXSW. What are you hoping to bring on stage that will set apart from other bands?

Jonathan: We just try to keep things as simple as possible. We are very enthusiastic about what we are doing, so hopefully that shines through.

Jacob: When not performing during this week what bands do you guys want to check out?

Jonathan: I'd like to see Best Coast and The Smith Westerns.

Jacob: And last, what upcoming bands are you guys diggin' on that you guys learned about from your Europe tours.

Jonathan: Nighthawke!

THE DRUMS will be performing at SXSW at the following venues:
Friday 19 March - THE FADER FORT @ 3:45pm (FREE IF YOU RSVP)
Friday 19 March - NME Showcase at Latitude @ 1:00am (BADGE PEEPS GO IN FIRST)
Saturday 20 March - with Minus the Bear at Stubb's @ 10:00pm (expect to pay $20)

www.myspace.com/thedrumsforever
www.facebook.com/pages/The-Drums/74425214853
twitter.com/levisfaderfort (heads up on this twitter to get the updates on the RSVP)

Warning: The Funniest Man Alive!

2010-02-25T08:44:00.000-08:00

Peter is my friends' dad. The day I met him I just as easily considered him my friend just as much as Bryan and Heather. A man with much inspiration on the good life. To his daughter Heather as well, he is the funniest man I know. Heather records her father's asinine shpills on a blog called I <3 Peter. Here you will find short stories carefully articulated words of Peter's life. And yes, they are all true and hilarious.

Here are a couple:
PETER REPORTS A DISTURBANCE
I used to have these really awful neighbors that would get drunk in the middle of the afternoon and yell horribly profane things at each other and sometimes get physical. For the most part I had no choice but to call the cops. One after noon it got pretty bad and I asked Peter if he would do me a favor and call the police. "Peter, just tell them they're fighting again and yelling profane things." "You got it!" So, Peter calls them and says "Yes ma'am. Our neighbors are going at it again. They're shouting very pornographic things at each other!" "Profanities, Peter!!! PROFANITIES!" Going at it? Pornographic? I don't even want to think about what kind of situation the dispatcher thought Peter was trying to report. Peter had no idea what he had said wrong. He just looked at me very confused and said "What? They're on their way."

MY FACE
"Did you get my comment on my face?"
"No, Peter I didn't get your comment on facebook."
"I know you didn't! Because I can't figure out how to f*cking do it!"

PETER'S LOVE LETTER
One evening at my brother's house in Holland Peter sat at the dining room table writing a very long and intimate email to my mom. We watch him as he writes it because he keeps grinning at himself, probably thinking my mom was going to be impressed by how cool and suave he is.
All of the sudden Peter pushes himself away from the table, throws his hands in the air, and yells "NO! WHAT THE HELL? HOW THE F*CK DID THAT HAPPEN?!" Peter sent his love letter to our family dog groomer. Laughing hysterically we asked him how he could possibly send his love letter to the wrong person and he responded as if we had wrongly accused him. "OH! I DID IT? I DID IT?" Yes, Peter, you sent a love letter to the family dog groomer.

I wanted to get inside of Pete's head for bit so I asked him a few questions. Here they are.

Jacob: So you are a father of 4 kids, about 10 dogs, and 7 or so parrots. You would think the riot would be all that but it's all you. Do you ever give yourself a break?
Peter: Mexico !!!!

J: And your wife, Cindy? Where does she fall into this? She must really really love you.
P: Mexico !!!!

J: I feel very privileged to be apart of your family. It's nice to see you in action. It's as if you a performance artists always on stage. Would you consider yourself the real Homer Simpson?
P: I've never watched it much so I wouldn't know.

J:So one time I come over and you yell me to come over to the cabana. You were by yourself relaxing on a lawn chair wearing Corona swim trunks, with Corona flip flops, and I believe a Corona towel laid beside you. You were drinking a Corona of course while sporting a giant gold ring on your pinky. What is your relationship with Corona?
P: It wasn't on the pinky Jacob, it was my special ring to open Coronas.

J: So how did you feel when you learned that your daughter Heather has made a blog of your calamity. And again, I'm sorry to compare you to Homer Simpson, but Bart once filmed his dad's blunders and put them on the internet. Seems like Heather was inspired by this particular episode.
P:I don't think Heather watches much of The Simpsons. She does her own thing and I think that it's beautiful how she is so unique and from what I have read from the blog and can't stop laughing and thinking that these things are really true and how good she is at telling the story for real. You know, I would be adding the "salsa roja" and the "salsa verde" to make the story truly unbelievable and she doesn't.

J:I've heard a lot of these stories, but the ones I have never heard of are the most amazing so lets extrapolate on these please. Lets start with her first story about you. You called your son Bryan, and your two daughters Laura and Heather about your missing plunger! You Peter, have lost your plunger but you were blaming it on your own kids! Where was that plunger?
P: I KNOW Heather has got it, but seriously, I don't believe she would know how to use one so she hid the evidence.

J: Hid the plunger or what was in the toilet? Heh, and who else did you call?
P: Well, I first looked around in each bathroom and the shed, when I knew it wasn't at our house, the inquiries started and you know me Jacob, I don't give up, but this one puzzled me, and after all....it was my favorite plunger, a truly trustworthy plunger !

J: Heather also wrote a story about the love letter. You wrote your sweet fidelity to your wife Cindy while you were over seas in Holland by email and you accidentally sent it to the family dog groomer! Please explain yourself.
P: Jacob, the internet DOES do it's own thing sometimes. Like, how can it steal all my favorite Mexican ballads right off my IPOD? explain that one, come on Jacob, EXPLAIN THAT ONE? OH yeah, I deleted it on my own so that I can later complain about it. I know it is a plot that one of my neighbors has, he is a computer wizz and he doesn't like Mexican music.

J: Did your dog groomer write you back? What'd she say?
P: She called and said she deleted it. I don't care if she read it, it was all true !

J: Of all stories do you have any that you want to call Heather out on or are these stories very true indeed.

P: Sometimes scary, but so far she has been writting true stories. Actually she might leave some details out but that is the beautiful part of being able to write what you want and how you remember things.

J: Oh, in Venezuela! The police officer who jumped on your bike and told you to follow a car. While the police officer was holding on to you trying to catch up to a criminal you could not get out of first gear! So what happened then? Did the cop say "Oh forget it!" and hopped off and started running?
P: Well, he was eating a traditional Venezuelan sandwich in one hand (it is made of corn and a lot of greasy lard) and pointing forward with the other hand, when he threw the wrapper into the air, and after knowing we would never make it up the next hill, he tapped me on the shoulder and told me to let him off.!! He stopped me a couple of times later for speeding? ha ha No way!!

J: So I'm sure now the readers are curious to what you do. I do know that your always flashing your "binky" (bling) so I take it you've come quite the man for yourself.
P: Well, being that I can't even say what it is called...... I don't give a damn. ha ha

J: Of course Heather doesn't follow you around at work and I know the craziness follows you like a shadow. Do you suppose there could easily be another blog about you that one of the employees have created about your work related shpills?
P: I work with the craziest bunch ever. They could write their own about themselves.

J: So what's the day in a life of Peter? What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
P: Know that it is going to be a beautiful day. Hope for the best to all my family and always be positive !!! It works.

J: Do you ever wake up and take a deep breath and say, "Peter, lets not do anything silly to day."?
P: Jacob, no...... I don't plan things, it just happens. Saturday night I went out late at night to get something and on the way down the sidewalk I stepped in the biggest dog crap you can imagine (Saint Bernard) ha ha, and on the way back I remembered not to step in it again as I was stepping into it !!! I was wearing sandals and went to the hose to wash it off and then Cindy later was asking me what I was doing in the bushes? My sandal just flew away ! Hard to explain.

J: I do know you spend a good amount of your time playing your flute and whatever else at your cabana. It's been quite cold so what are you doing to pass your time? Cut cat food with scissors?
P: Well Jacob, I have a heater out there now that my brother-in-law gave me, when it runs out of propane, I do too !

J:Alright Pete! That about wraps it up. Thanks for taking the time on these. So tell us what's next!
P: Hmmmmm........Let me think.......... We have birthday parties, babtisms and weddings coming up. and after all that, I have convinced Cindy that we need a break, go to our little hideout in Mexico and don't drink the water, brush our teeth with beer, just like Nick Nolte did in a movie. ha ha ha. no "binky" there ! Cindy likes to count and laugh at how many times I can hit the same pothole in and out of where we stay !

For more stories of Peter go to: heatherminette.blogspot.com

JCVD gets boners.

2010-02-14T10:49:00.000-08:00

It's Valentine's Day. I wonder what Jean Claude Van Damme is doing?

Jen and Nate plus GREAT!

2010-01-31T15:06:00.000-08:00

Jen and Nate are aerialists who travel the world doing what they love, and this is performing acrobatic stunts that leave glorified. So why pay full price when you're only going to be sitting on the edge of your seat?

Jacob: So lets start where we met. You guys bought a trampoline, came to Texas for the Americas Got Talent show, and from there I thought that I'd never see you guys again, but then i see you at the Britney Spears concert being a part of her "circus" tour. I am in my seat and i was blown away when I saw you! So how'd you become part of her tour? (note to readers: I just happened to be near the Toyota Center when a girl came up to me and asked me to join her since she had a extra ticket. I ditched my friends. And yes, it was pretty good. hahaha)

Jen and Nate: We had been working together for two years creating our trampoline act & silk act. We also had been training & conditioning almost every day, in addition to marketing ourselves. Throughout the two years of being partners we have created our own company, Jen & Nate LLC, we have created our own official website complete with pictures, videos, & Jen & Nate merchandise. In the beginning, we were very familiar with rejection, but when you knock on a hundred doors, one is bound to open.

In January of 2009, Nate got hired as an aerialist on the Britney Spears Tour, he of course accepted the offer, I was devastated. Nate assured me that he would make this tour work for us. He was hard at work while on the tour promoting our videos to everyone. I would then fly out often to meet the cast and show that I was actually real! Six months after Nate joined the tour, I finally became a member of the Britney Spears Tour! This story proves that perseverance pays off!

Jacob: You have now traveled all over the world demonstrating your performance! All those shows I'm sure are all rehearsed and all the same right? Any special shows that stick out that was your favorite?

Jen and Nate: Even though we were performing the same act on the tour, every show had it’s unique qualities. We were always pushing to improve. We strive to fly higher, hit music accents harder, smile bigger, & connect with our audience more.

The show’s that were the most special to each of us were when our family & friends were able to come watch us. To have your family & friends be a witness to one of your biggest professional moments was amazing and crazy at the same time. In certain cities it would get chaotic to arrange tickets & seats for 50+ people. One of our most challenging shows, Nate had a fever pushing 105’. Symptoms included, uncontrollable shaking, sweat pouring from his body, & extreme nausea. Britney’s management had already cancelled us out of the show that night, but we were determined to perform. We have a picture of a Dr. giving Nate a shot in the butt, an IV in his arm, while on the phone negotiating with Britney’s management. They eventually allowed us to perform, & ironically it was our best show!

Jacob: You two fell under the spot light rather quick. Did you have any notion that this fame would come?

Jen and Nate: Yes, we knew the fame would EVENTUALLY come, but it didn’t come quick or easily. I had been involved in tumbling for seven years in my youth. Nate had been performing for 11 years, with an additional 20 years of gymnastics experience. While working together we hit additional road blocks that average entertainers don’t face. It was years of training & our confidence that eventually put us in the spotlight.

Jacob: You two are very inspiring people. I see you as a girl with a lot of capabilities. What do you have to say to people who also don't have legs and putt around in their wheelchair watching TV?

Jen and Nate: I would give them the same advice I would give anybody else. We all have capabilities that need developing.. As long as you’re able to set goals and strive for them, you’ll lead a happy & rewarding life.

Jacob: So now you are doing this as a living. How did you meet you two meet?

Jen and Nate: I was working at Disney World. I would be watching the shows thinking I can do this, I just need someone to teach me! I would talk to one of my managers and tell her how I had a passion for getting back into some form of gymnastics, she suggested I meet this guy, Nate. We met face to face, but I had no opportunity to show him any skills. Unbelievably, he believed everything I told him I could do. He was leaving on a tour and would be gone for three months, we started our training over the phone. When he returned three months later, I was finally able to show him what I could do in the gym.

Jacob: With all this success you have done this without legs. I'm assuming you do not consider yourself handicapped right? Because when I look at you I see you doing things that I can't even do. Are there any times where you are like,"Shit, I can't do that."?

Jen and Nate: Yes, there are times when I might think I can’t do something, but it’s no more than the average person. If there is something I want to do, I will find an alternate route and make it work.

Jacob: And that is amazing! And that's what I love about you! So you play baseball, volleyball, surf, dance, flip, jump. When are we going to see you skydive?

Jen and Nate: It’s funny you mention skydiving! I’ve been planning on taking the plunge now for about a year. I’m sure there will be pictures soon on our website!

Jacob: Well I can't wait to see them.There are people like you and Aaron Fotheringham who has Spina Bifida and can do a back flip on a ramp in his wheelchair. Why do I feel like the one right now with the disability?

Jen and Nate: Our goal is always to help people, sometimes people have barriers in their mind that prevent them from reaching their goals. We are trying to wipe those away. These barriers are what sometimes makes people feel disabled. In our performances we want to help our audiences remove these barriers.

There you have it, Jen and Nate. In words by Andrew W.K. "Never let down". Two very inspiring people that I know will give people faith and hope. I am happy to know them. For more information on these two whippersnappers check out their site below for more interviews, videos, photo galleries, and news. Thanks!

www.jenandnatesite.com

Way to go dad!

2010-01-27T19:01:00.000-08:00

I really wish I saved an article when this happened, because I had to ask my dad to refresh my memory.

In 2006 I worked with my dad. I was the safety inspector (or something of that sort) at his job. A few guys were getting off at 3pm and my dad was going to stay till 7pm. I had been there since 7am so it was the appropriate time for to clock out. My dad set me up with a ride to my house with his Spanish speaking friend. Who we will call Hector.

Okay, so lets back track 2 days before this. Hector asked my dad if he had any extra guns that he did not want. "Why?" my dad asked. "Oh, to shoot the gun at the ranch." Actually, since this man did not speak a hint of English he said something like, "Dispare el fusil en la hacienda.". A week from that day on the news was Hector as a fugitive on the run for attempting to kill his wife over jealousy. While shooting his wife his daughter undertook a heroic move by jumping in front of the bullet. Her hand was shot, mom lived, and Hecor said "Mierda!" and bounced out!
The police found him a week later and is now in prison. And me? I'm wondering why the hell my dad set me up with a would be murderer!

Andrew Who Knows?

2010-01-24T08:38:00.000-08:00

When Andrew W.K. was released to the public in 2001 I didn't know what to think? Who is this mad man? Is this a joke? And do I want to be apart of it? After listening to the record I no longer cared if it was a joke or not. I wanted in. Andrew W.K. was full of positive words about living life and partying. The energy it rendered shot in your ears like lightning bolts. This album was a living breathing machine of bedlam! It was brilliant! Working on my movie "What the Hell 2" I knew that A.W.K. had to be apart of it. Soon after the shoot, the too of us became friends and have worked on a few things from then on.

So here's the tricky part. That being said that we are friends. We are aware of each one's existence. There are possible rumours that Andrew W.K. is a project and that there are two Andrew W.K.s. Is this another science project for the major labels to experiment on? Who is Steev Mike? Could this be Andrew's stand-in? This is all too odd for me, because if this is true have I met them both? Do they share stories of "people to know on tour" so that they don't fuck it up?
I don't think I want to know the answer. Perhaps someday we'll know, but if you want to do your home work here is a good site to play Sherlock Holmes. http://truthaboutandrewwk.blogspot.com/

Besides his music Andrew has been a TV personality, a motivational speaker, a weather man, a scavenger hunt host (which we two did) haha, and now we learn that there could be two of them. Fuck it. More to love and that's why we shall never stop living in the red because if this is still a joke then I'm going to laugh with him to his (their) grave.

23 Feb. 2010 Andrew will be releasing 2 records in the US. They are called Brickwalls and Mother of Mankind. I've listened to Brickwalls and I tell you it is a beautiful gem. Buy it.

www.andrewwk.com

Videos that will knock your pants off.

2010-01-18T21:27:00.000-08:00

Peter Schutmaat

2010-01-17T09:45:00.000-08:00

This is Peter. My best friend's dad. He collects Corona points and has a pet dog named. Louie.
His daughter has stated a blog on him to share her favorite Peter stories. I've known this family for quite some time and Peter have never ceased of being boring. Please go check her blog out.

By "Toilet Plunger by Heather Minette:

I call my sister and say "Laura, you won't believe this, Bryan just called me to tell me Peter called him looking for his toilet plunger and Peter beeped in on the other line asking me where it was!" and she tells me "HE JUST CAME TO MY HOUSE LOOKING FOR IT!"
Peter seriously thought one of his kids stole his toilet plunger. God knows who else he called.

WOW! Peter You are a saint. I love you. I really hope Heather keeps the updates flowing. Heather has never let me down with a Peter story. Heather, I love ya. Keep it up!

http://heatherminette.blogspot.com

The Bet

2010-01-17T01:35:00.000-08:00

As Michael put out his cigarette on the plate of lemon peels and miniature plastic swords for olives he nodded his head, "Too easy. Make it $30." The wages were silly but the bets were serious. "Deal." Drioli gnarled while taking a shot of Root beer Lollipop."You're such a fag for drinking that shit!" Michael laughed." Drioli ignored the comment and stared at the girls. "You know what Drioli? You're favorite color might as well be rainbow for drinking that!" "Yeah, yeah okay I get it. " Michael seemed to always give Drioli a hard time for whatever he did. "Excuse me for being an under taster! My pallet happens to like the taste of sugar!" "Okay, okay!" Michael lit up another cigarette and without looking Michael said, "Go get her ya toothless tiger." "Andare masturbare." Drioli said this while swaying his hand in a jerking off motion. Michael started to meow like a kitten. Drioli laughed as he strutted over to the girls.

"Nome?" Drioli said in Italian. The girls looked at each other. "Nome?" "Yard gnome?", the other girl questioned. "What are your names?, Drioli said, but this time in English. Drioli believed that his Italian blood would win the American women over. "Mabel." She smiled but seemed uninterested but it didn't matter because she was not the bet. "And you must be Tiffany, yes?" Driolo asked. "No, why would you say such?" "Because you have the letter T on your purse." She laughed while keeping her bangs out of her eyes. "My name is actually Thumbelina." She said this while smiling which was a good thing. "Thumbelina?" "My older brother named me. My parents didn't have a name for me when I was born. My brother took his pet hamster to the hospital and lost her while I was being delivered. He was devastated so to make him feel better my parents let him name me." Drioli laughed, "That's a cute story." "Yeah, it was his favorite book." "Good thing his favorite book wasn't "Rumpleskilstin"! Drioli threw back.

The three laughed while Michael stared at his watch in the back seeing how long it would take to seal the deal."Do you ladies want a drink?" Mabel knew that Drioli was directing this towards Thumbelina but she accepted the free drink anyways. Drioli waved the bartender down for 3 drafts. "Aren't you classy." said Mabel. "Hey! Drioli shouted. "Scratch that! One Brandy Alexander for Mabel and a Sex on the beach for her. "Drioli felt odd saying her name so he just played safe with the pronoun. "And one Miller for me." "So why Sex on the Beach for me" Thumbelina asks. Drioli didn't say a word. He eyeballed her body and then said, "Why not." "I'm going to leave you two alone." Mabel walked away and with a shit grin she smiled at Thumbelina.

"Call me Lina." Thumbelina had said. "So what do you do?" Drioli hated these trite questions but he knew it was a part of the game to get her to bed. "I'm a pathologist." "What is that?" By asking this question this only made his confidence rise. "I study blood. I'm actually an anatomic pathologist. I deal with the tissue diagnosis and such. Kinda boring. "No, it sounds interesting." Drioli looked over to Michael but he was nowhere to be seen. He was assuming he went outside for a phone call. "Very impressive she added." "What about you?" "Just a receptionist for a law firm. Answering telephones all day. Nothing special." "Do you wanna get out of here?" "Are you serious?" "Um…sure why not?" Lina hesitated. She seemed nervous and wary. "You didn't slide a pill in my drink did you?" "I'm horrible at magic. I couldn't even hide the peas on my plate as a child under the table with out getting caught." Lina seemed to like his sense of humor and agreed on leaving the club. "Let's go." "Don't you want to tell your friend?" She'll figure it out. Drioli looked for Michael once more and left. "He'll figure it out.", he thought to himself.

As they walked through the crowded room Drioli walked with his hand on the small of her back. "So where's your car?" "Oh, shoot. I'm sorry. My friend drove…we can get a taxi." "Your house?" Lina asked. Drioli paused."How about a walk through the park?" Lina liked that idea better than going into a stranger's home." "I'm getting new track lights in my home and the kitchen is being custom designed. The place is a mess." "That's nice. So where do you live?" "It's over on the east side over the hills." Drioli said with confidence. Lina seemed very impressed and asked to see it one day for she knew people with the six digit bank accounts lived there. "Perhaps." Drioli said while putting his arm around her. She leaned on him and Drioli knew that he had won the $30 but what was more important is that he would be fucking a beautiful blonde wearing a black thong named Thumbelina.

As they arrived to the park Drioli told the cab to keep the change. Even though he knew he would be fucking her he still continued to keep the dice rolling.That night Lina had learned that he had gotten his PH in Prague and his parents are proud owners of the Clydesdale Horses that Budweiser uses for their marketing. Lina also learned that Drioli knows 4 languages but refused to speak in any of them because he was drunk. Lina told Drioli that she knew that one of the languages were Bullshit. Lina seemed very fond of Drioli and held his hand. Lina didn't really say much because she knew that she lived a simple life and it would not compare to Drioli's . While she has not left the county in two years Drioli has been to three continents so she decided to let him win her over without her saying a word.

In the park along the creek the two lied side by side. Drioli kissed Lina's neck while his other hand was on her thigh. What surprised Drioli was that Lina grabbed his hand and slid it under her skirt. While pulling down her black thong it snapped. Lina didn't care. She said "Fuck it" and threw them in the creek. An hour later they walked up to the front of the park and walked along the edge of the city. "I should go." Lina said. "Mabel is going to kill me." She said this while looking at the 20 missed calls from Mabel.Drioli looked at his phone and it read zero. He figured that Michael had met up with some friends or met a girl in the club. As the two rode the taxi cab back to the bar Drioli's phone rang. "One moment please." Drioli picked up the call and it was Michael. "Hey Mike what's happening!" He was quite pleased to here his voice for he had an adventure that he would telling him later in private. "Luckily I had your keys in my pocket so I went ahead and drove to your mom's house. I'm in your room playing with the Wii. I lost the bet huh. Ya fucked her didn't you!' Lina pulled away from Drioli and asked the cab to stop. She had heard every word that Michael had said. Her eyes developed small tears. She nodded her head with her mouth slightly open. Drioli hung up on Michael. "Lina, I can explain."

ART IS DEAD

2010-01-07T20:18:00.000-08:00

Some people use oils in their art work while others may use acrylics or even watercolors. To most artist this all they know and where it ends, but to artist Wayne Gilbert it doesn't stop. He has went to the beyond and over for his unusual macabre medium. Human remains, the ashes of people that no longer exist in this world. Dead burnt bodies. Some may say that this is a project that is taboo, but to Wayne he believes that it's a beautiful way of expressing his art that can not be priced. The ex-drug abusing alcoholic has turned his life around and has made quite the name for himself in the art society. He has shared the pages of People magazine with Jennifer Aniston. He has traveled the world, and even has has in own art gallery in Houston, TX called G Gallery.

Picasso didn't just one day say, "I am going to paint the "Guernica"." Andy Warhol didn't just paint the Campbell's Soup can overnight. GG Allen didn't decide he was going to start eating shit...well, maybe he did. So how does one come with the conceptual idea of using dead bodies as a medium? Wayne had a very pragmatic solution to his idea of how he could create priceless art. Wayne studied art for over twenty years reading critiques and books that once you'd get to the fourth page you'd shoot your brain out because you have no idea what the author is writing about. He also was apart of a group with a few artists called The Rubber Group, where in 1989 he and his art mates wrapped a man in plastic and hung him over an arena and let a raging bull tear him up like a pinata.

While driving on the freeway he had an epiphany, using human ashes as a medium. In 1998 he created his first piece called "Anna D" which was once the person's name. Wayne created a relationship with a funeral home and when there are small boxes of unwanted ashes the boxes are passed over to Wayne. It took him six months to receive his first box of ashes. Unwanted babys to unwanted dead neighbors with no local relatives and everoyne dead inbetween. A tour of his art was once given in his private gallery and a woman saw a box of ashes with a woman's name on it and shouted out, "That's Peggy from church!". So sometimes people do find out where Johnny or Jane went. Other ways of claiming his medium is by people donating their bodies to Wayne. It may upset the families but once they read the will they must do as it reads, like Moe Syzlak from The Simpsons once sighed, "I aint never said no to a dead girl before."

The ashes are not dyed, colored, or treated. Each human has their own color. While a white guy could come out black an African American guy could come out white. Still to this day scientist can not explain this explaination of the coloration in human ashes. Wayne sketches out what he wants on the canvas then takes a person and shifts their ashes and bones within the shape of the sketching. He then uses a pricey archival resin and bonds the ashes together. Once the ashes harden on the canvas he will proceed with another human for a different color. Sometimes Wayne can use more than twenty humans in one painting. Receiving light and dark colored ashes is a great pleasure to Wayne for they are the hardest to find. So if you believe you will produce either of these two shades please hang yourselg and donate your body to Wayne.

So how do you put a price on death? "You can't.", says Wayne. Wayne will not sell the decorative dead remains to just anyone. Nor does he just tack up a price and sell it. This does not mean he will not sell his art. He has sold some peices starting at $10,000. He attends to sell the art only to the ones who will respect them not just as art but also as people. Sometimes there are ten people in one painting. The cost of a cremation cost around $700- $1,000 so somewhere in Wayne's spiritual hobby someone is making money, even if his art doesn't sell. He once sold a Nazi logo that is 18"-18" for $3,000. "They ought to be priceless because they're people.", says Wayne.

Wayne isn't the only artist who creates art from dead bodies. A woman by the name of Emma Fenelon from

London once used ashes to recreate tree bark in one of her art gallerys. Another unusual artist is Charlie Frafft from Seattle, Washington who created urns from ashes. So now one can put dead people in dead people.

So is making art with dead bodies illegal? Ashes not so much, but for Thomas Condon...another story. He didn't just stop along with the others at ashes. Thomas went inside a morgue and took photographs of human corpses and when he had his photographs developed the lab tech who was developing his negatives called the police about the dead bodies. Thomas Condon was arrested and was sentenced for two and a half years in prison for unauthorized permission to take photographs of the dead which labels down to corpse abuse.

People will call Wayne to turn their deceased loved ones into memorial art. Even when the caller clearly states that price is not an issue humble Wayne will decline the offer when he could be driving that 2009 Lotus Exige S 260 that his next door neighbor has been dreaming of. Wayne then tells the caller that he does not make memorials. He makes art. If Wayne himself had the choice the dead art would be in a climate controlled museum on display for the world to see.

While Wayne Gilbert is creating art work of the unknown dead I am going to learn his trade and start up a memorial art business and make boo-koos of cash. Why not? I could make recreate Iwa Jima by using good ole Aunt May. Grandpa Joe never did have the chance of visiting Africa so perhaps I could create a poverty stricken village with a fly on a little boy's eye. Money isn't an issue to these people so perhaps someday I'll buy that 2009 Lotus Exige S 260 that I've been dreaming of.